Workplace Friendships: Navigating Office Alliances Without Harming Your Career

Every large team naturally divides into smaller groups. This is a natural phenomenon as people can’t maintain close relationships with a large number of individuals simultaneously. However, joining a particular group can sometimes be detrimental. HR consultant Anastasia Tetruk shares insights on how these groups form, what to watch out for to avoid unpleasant situations, and whether workplace friendships are beneficial.

Understanding Workplace Alliances

It’s impossible to remain isolated when working in an office. The need for belonging and social interaction is fundamental. But why do you find yourself having deep conversations with some colleagues while only discussing work with others? This happens because people form groups based on different intentions and goals.

How Alliances Form

Factor 1: Work-Oriented Groups

In every team, there are individuals who are constantly striving to improve, create new projects, and essentially, work hard. They form alliances solely to achieve the next big thing at work. If you join them, be prepared for drive and excitement. However, personal conversations are not their priority.

Factor 2: Benefit-Oriented Groups

These employees ally with those who can help them achieve specific goals, such as promotions, salary increases, or prestigious project assignments. They are willing to help others in return. The glue that holds these alliances together is mutual benefit. Even if an employee doesn’t particularly like their peers, they will stick with them for the sake of results.

Factor 3: Shared Interests and Values

This is when the person themselves is interesting, not just their role as a colleague. People are brought together by shared hobbies, life values, and principles. In such groups, relationships extend beyond the workplace.

The Pros and Cons of Workplace Alliances

Alliances can be both helpful and harmful. On the one hand, they foster a sense of belonging and help make new friends. Employees who are part of such groups often feel more satisfied with their jobs, which boosts productivity and loyalty to the company.

However, relationships between different groups can become complex, leading to an “us vs. them” mentality. This can hinder the resolution of common work tasks. Group favoritism, where one’s own group is highly valued while others are undervalued, is another common issue. Gossip, rumors, and different rules for different people can also emerge, even if everything seems respectful on the surface.

If there are opposing groups within a team, it can cause difficulties. When getting close to people, it’s important to understand who you’re aligning with and why. Remember, you have a choice: you don’t have to join any group.

To Join or Not to Join an Alliance

First, figure out what you want. A simple exercise can help: choose the mindset that resonates with you the most.

Mindset 1: “Work is Only for Work”

In this case, alliances are not necessary. What matters most is the work itself and what you get from it (salary, self-realization, status). People are just an attribute of the work environment. You can maintain professional relationships with everyone without getting close to anyone.

Mindset 2: “Networking at Work is Necessary”

You believe that work provides not only a salary and a position but also useful contacts. With this mindset, you can maintain friendly-professional relationships with everyone or ally with someone to achieve a common work goal or mutual benefit. However, it’s best to avoid personal conversations.

Mindset 3: “Work is an Opportunity to Find Friends”

For you, work is not just about money and self-realization but also about people. You should find a group of colleagues who share your values. Thanks to them, you will always feel support and inspiration. With others, you can maintain a professional relationship.

How to Join an Alliance Without Causing Trouble

To understand the dynamics of communication within a team, you can use a simple observer’s formula:

Who: Observe if there are any alliances in the team, how many there are, and who is part of them. Pay attention to the composition of the groups: are they same-sex or mixed, same age or different ages, same career status or mixed. This can give you clues about why people have come together. The leader of the alliance is also important. They set the tone for communication. See if they share your values and interests.
What: Carefully observe what unites people in the group. It could be common professional goals, or they might just enjoy each other’s company. You can understand this by listening to their conversations and noting the topics and questions that come up most often.
Why: This point is closely related to “What.” It’s the main goal that the group has formed around, what unites its members, and what drives them.
How: How do group members interact? Do they go to lunch together, participate in the same work projects, have separate chats, or meet up after work to relax?
When: Assess how much time during the workday the groups spend on joint gatherings and discussions. What percentage of work time is spent discussing tasks, and how much is spent on breaks or coffee pauses?
Where: Is there a special place where the groups gather? A specific zone or office, a smoking area, a cafe. Or does all interaction happen only in chats?

Whether to join alliances, make friends at work, or align against someone is your choice. Just remember to avoid extremes: overly close relationships can blur boundaries and fuel gossip, while overly distant ones can lead to conflicts and hostility.

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