Feeling Overwhelmed? Expert Tips on Seeking Help
Feeling Overwhelmed? Expert Tips on Seeking Help
Struggling with life’s challenges can make it tough to seek support. Psychologist Dr. Liesje Donkin shares with Jessica-Belle Greer why speaking up is crucial and how to take that first step.
The Struggle is Real
When you’re feeling overwhelmed, it’s easy to lose sight of the bigger picture. Going through a tough time affects your decision-making skills. “Our ability to reflect on ourselves, to think through options, to problem-solve – all those things are affected when we’re going through a really tough time,” explains Dr. Donkin. Reaching out to others can provide new perspectives and make you feel less alone as you work on improving your mental health and wellbeing.
The Power of Social Support
“Engaging your support networks and using them to help you when you need it actually has good outcomes in lots of different areas,” says Dr. Donkin. “The number of relationships that you have, and how you perceive those relationships, is really clearly linked to things like general wellbeing.”
Signs You Need Help
Indicators vary from person to person, but look out for changes in your behavior. Sometimes, others may comment that you don’t seem like yourself, or you may notice you’re not enjoying things you used to like. Struggling with sleep or changes in appetite are also signs. Discussing these changes with your GP can provide support and help with next steps. If you’re unsure whether you need help, it’s still good to ask, as delaying help can make matters worse.
Who to Ask?
If you choose to talk to friends or family, Dr. Donkin suggests making time with someone you trust and feel comfortable with. Mentioning you have something you want to talk about ahead of time is a good idea. Remember, you’re not alone in needing help. “Most people will struggle or know someone who’s struggled at some stage in their lives,” says Dr. Donkin. “Most have a sense of what this was like.”
Timing is Everything
If you’re asking a loved one you live with, make sure you approach them when they’re not too busy, perhaps after the kids are in bed, so they can focus. If you unexpectedly say you’re struggling, in the middle of an argument, for example, they may not be as receptive to helping you – so it’s best to make space and time before you get to this point. “Picking your time, picking your person is really important,” says Dr. Donkin.
Know What You Need
Your confidant may not know the right thing to say or do at first. Think about what you might need from them, such as whether they know a professional you could talk to, or if they could continue to check in with you. “It might even be, ‘I don’t know what I want from this, but I’m hoping you can help me think about what might be good for me to do.'”
Connect with a Professional
Once you’ve contacted a therapist, many will organize a phone consultation first to find out what you need help with. Asking questions, including what a typical session with them would look like, will help you decide if you’ll be able to work well with them. “We know that people will get better outcomes in therapy if they like their therapists,” says Dr. Donkin.
Additional Resources
- Free 24/7 helplines:
- Need to Talk? 1737, call or text 1737.
- Lifeline Aotearoa, call 0800 543 354 or text 4357.
- Online courses:
- moodgym.com.au
- justathought.co.nz
