How Our Views on Monogamy Have Evolved Over Time
How Our Views on Monogamy Have Evolved Over Time
While it may seem like the world has completely transformed over the past 20 years, and millennials face different challenges than their parents, some aspects of life remain constant. One of these is the commitment to monogamous relationships. A survey conducted by the Higher School of Economics and the Russian State Social University in 2017 revealed that 82% of young people aged 17 to 30 cited genuine feelings as the primary reason for getting married.
Monogamy Doesn’t Mean ‘Forever’
One of the positive outcomes of the revolution in Russia was the legalization of divorce. For over two centuries, infidelity was the only acceptable reason for divorce. This led to spouses spying on and defaming each other. Although divorce was stigmatized in the past, people have always cheated, lied, or simply grown tired of each other. It’s a shame it took so long to realize that divorce is not the end of the world.
Today, the average duration of marriage in Russia ranges from 10 to 17 years, which is not very long compared to a lifetime. While society’s attitude towards divorce is still ambiguous, it has become easier to end unsuccessful relationships. Monogamous relationships are no longer seen as a ‘once and for a lifetime’ commitment. People have recognized that marriages are registered in civil registry offices, not in higher authorities, and there is no point in staying in a lifeless marriage until death.
Monogamy Doesn’t Mean Marriage is Mandatory
In addition to the more tolerant attitude towards divorce, many people choose not to tie the knot officially. However, they still choose one partner for life and remain faithful throughout the relationship. This is very honest. It takes a lot of sincerity to answer ‘Yes’ to the question of sticking together through thick and thin after spending decades together.
Monogamy is Not the Only Option
Not everyone is meant to be monogamous. It is much easier today to admit that you are in a polyamorous or open relationship, although in Russia, one should be cautious with such declarations.
To the ardent defenders of morality who condemn any form of relationship other than monogamy, I would like to say that from an evolutionary perspective, the shift away from polygamy was related to the growth of tribes and, consequently, an increase in venereal diseases. There were no means of protection or effective medicines for chlamydia, syphilis, gonorrhea, and other consequences of uncontrolled sexual relations at that time. Therefore, people decided that it was much safer to have sex with the same partner.
It is difficult to convince society that the thousand-year-old views on monogamy as the only correct and moral form of relationship are based solely on practical considerations, but this is not necessary. Young people already feel much freer in matters of self-determination.
Monogamy Depends on the Partner
Monogamy is not an innate quality but a set of attitudes that can change over the course of life. A convinced polyamorist can meet someone who replaces all their past relationships and create quite traditional relationships with them. It all depends on how you feel and who is by your side at the moment.
