Unlocking Potential: The Power of Coaching in Personal Growth

Life presents us with a myriad of daily challenges, starting from the moment our alarm clock rings. Modern psychologists suggest that we should view these difficulties as tasks, implying that they have solutions. We constantly make decisions, but sometimes it feels like the more obstacles we overcome, the more complex the new ones become. It’s as if someone is watching over us, saying, “Since you handled that, here’s another challenge. Let’s see how you’ll manage this one.”

The Role of Coaching

As long as there is life, there will be trials. And as long as there are trials, there will be those who help us overcome them. These individuals can be called “professional problem solvers.” They engage in coaching, which involves setting the right goals and charting a path to achieve them. A coach, or personal trainer, guides their client “by the hand” to victory or provides detailed instructions before letting them navigate independently. A consultation with a coach is known as a coaching session.

Key Insights About Coaching

There are three essential things to know about those who offer coaching services:

A coach is not a psychologist, but they may have a strong understanding of psychology or even a relevant degree. This allows them to address a broader range of issues.
Like any professional in a helping profession, a coach does not consult themselves. Interestingly, one does not need to be successful to teach the secrets of success.
Coaching is a precise science based on mathematics and logic. It involves an intellectual assault on obstacles, transforming them into achievable goals.

Internal and External Challenges

Our difficulties can be divided into two categories: internal and external. External challenges include things like not oversleeping for work, finding a dream partner, or selling a property quickly. Today, we’ll focus on the most common internal problems. While they can’t be solved with a snap of the fingers, there are steps we can take immediately. One of the most challenging situations arises when someone declares, “I have no problems!”

The Illusion of No Problems

Often, this statement means that the person:

Is afraid to voice and address their problems.
Wants to remain perfect.
Engages in self-deception and fails to see real tasks.
Is not ready to seek help and believes they can handle everything alone.

The primary task in this case is to eliminate hypocrisy and learn honesty. Otherwise, the person will never confront their inner traumas, burying them deeper and deeper. This can lead to a victim complex, idealist neurosis, pride, and disappointment. Living in a world of pink unicorns and raising children in such an environment is not uncommon, but it’s not healthy.

Steps to Overcome Self-Deception

To break free from this illusion, one should:

Engage in new activities, explore different areas of life and knowledge. This can serve as a clear, objective mirror, helping the person see their true self and acknowledge their reality and flaws.
Ask for advice 3-5 times a day, regardless of the topic, preferably from those who are wiser and stronger. Being sincere and grateful is not shameful but extremely beneficial.

Mathematical Problems: Time and Money

Mathematics is considered the queen of sciences. Let’s examine two crucial “mathematical” problems: “I don’t have enough…” Typically, people feel they lack two measurable things: time and money.

“I Don’t Have Enough Time!”

This seems like an external issue that can be resolved with time management techniques. However, people continue to complain, wishing for more hours in a day. The reasons for this time deficit are paradoxical: people don’t have enough time for LIFE, and it’s spent on solving problems! Thus, the ballast isn’t shed; people choose urgent tasks (mostly related to survival) and leave no room for anything else. Often, happiness lies in that “anything else.”

To address this, one must understand that time is priceless. It’s our primary resource, given to us for a limited period. The solution is paradoxical: to have enough time, one must learn to spend it well. Solving current tasks should be a pleasant bonus, and your work, studies, communication, and leisure should be your life.

“I Don’t Have Enough Money!”

The roots of this problem lie in a distorted attitude towards money. Psychologists suggest that beliefs associated with the fear of large sums, the shame of being wealthy, or the unworthiness of abundance distort your personal financial flow. We add that those who do not fulfill their calling often lack money.

Lack of money is a multifaceted internal problem. It’s not always about poverty; sometimes, it’s about not having enough for a new yacht or diamond necklace. But it’s always about greed. You want more than you deserve, or you want to be an object of envy. Unfortunately, human greed is incurable.

To address this, one should:

Avoid falling for numerous courses like “How to Get Rich in a Week.” They are useless and even harmful.
Start believing in the statement: “My money is in my hands.” They are not in the hands of your employer, rich husband, sponsor, mom, or dad. Their money is NOT yours.
Assess your level of maturity. An unfulfilled person who despises money (for spiritual or other reasons) is infantile and truly unhappy.

Overcoming Insecurity

Insecurity is another major concern. It manifests as anxiety about the future (encompassing the previous problems), inability to stand up for oneself, and shyness in public speaking or simple negotiations.

“Insecurity” reflects a lack of self-belief and self-trust, strongly projected onto the external world: nothing and no one can be trusted! But deep down, the “non-believer” harbors hope: perhaps someone great and brave will come and save them—a parent, boss, psychic, president, or even God.

To overcome this, one must learn to be brave, especially with those they depend on—parents, children, employers, sorcerers, the government, or even God. Self-belief is built through personal achievements, not others’, as in childhood: walking alone, speaking up, buying bread, or getting to school. Fear of breaking dependency is the fifth and final problem we’ll discuss today.

Conquering Fear

Unfortunately, schools don’t teach us how to live, and our parents believe that as long as they are around, children have nothing to fear. Children absorb their parents’ fears—”the street is dangerous,” “unknown men are maniacs,” “the world is full of evil”—like little sponges. As we grow up, we reluctantly realize that we are entirely composed of fears and anxieties.

To conquer fear, one must look it in the eye: what will happen if the worst occurs? Yes, it will be painful, unpleasant, and disgusting. In coaching sessions, one can develop a gradual algorithm for facing fears if they are not ready to dive in headfirst. What emotions will surface when fear is destroyed? Usually, shame, guilt, and strong anger. The main thing is for the person to understand that they will continue to live.

For further reading on managing finances, you can refer to this article on financial literacy.