The Hidden Dangers of Affirmations: Why Repetition Isn’t Always the Key to Success

The Allure and Pitfalls of Affirmations

Affirmations are positive phrases that, when repeated, are supposed to bring about positive changes in a person’s life. Popular psychologists, personal growth coaches, and spiritual mentors often recommend using this tool. But are affirmations truly a cure-all or just another deception?

The Illusion of Affirmations

The temptation is real: instead of undergoing lengthy psychotherapy, taking medication, working on self-improvement, or earning money, one can simply search for the word “affirmation,” choose appealing phrases, and repeat them. Experts promise that this practice can recode the subconscious and open up new possibilities, even for miracles. If you believe you are wealthy, money will come to you through a great job, lottery winnings, or inheritance. If you believe you are healthy, your mind will command your body, leading to weight loss and the disappearance of chronic ailments. And so on.

Affirmations seem like another magical pill that solves all problems in 21 days or at least within three months. Write them in a notebook, hang sticky notes with these phrases around your home, repeat them three times a day, ten times each, and happiness will follow. Psychologists, coaches, business trainers, and doctors can look for new jobs. Alas, it’s time to turn the fairy tale called “affirmations” into reality and reveal the unconditional harm of this trendy self-development tool. Or perhaps the tool itself is good, but we are using it incorrectly? Let’s figure it out.

Can We Fix the Subconscious?

Our subconscious—simplified—resides “inside.” It is hidden beneath the consciousness, which is on the surface. On the surface, we think, perceive (with our five senses), speak, and act.

A person is governed by the subconscious, much like an engine hidden under the hood makes a car move. Can we fix the engine without opening it? Can we recode the subconscious from the outside? The answer is obvious. Deep-seated life beliefs are buried very deep, and we can only reach them by understanding when and why they appeared.

For example, a girl was told in childhood that she was ugly. Despite this, she became a top model, but she still suffers from feelings of inferiority. Thousands of people admire her beauty on magazine covers, but she looks in the mirror every morning and calls herself ugly.

A sticker on the mirror says, “I am the most beautiful,” but she doesn’t believe it. And most importantly, she doesn’t understand why the objective picture contradicts the subjective one. The saddest part of this story is that the heroine will never admit her problem to anyone. Everyone should admire her appearance, her mask.

Cognitive dissonance arises. A person tries to believe in a new positive idea, such as “I love myself” (a popular recommendation from many experts). But the old idea—”I hate myself”—hasn’t gone anywhere. There are no arguments in favor of love yet. The internal conflict will worsen the situation, and the rose-colored glasses of such affirmations will lead the person to even greater disappointment in themselves.

Are Thoughts Material?

Proponents of affirmations argue that verbal conviction activates actions. Esotericists add that thoughts are material: as you think, so it shall be, and if you think positively, you will attract blessings.

Let’s debunk the first argument. Without internal motivation, the subconscious will switch to an economical mode: if something can be done or not done with the same result, it will choose the latter. The principle of the magical pill is based on achieving maximum results with minimal effort—crudely speaking, the “principle of something for nothing.” This is very beneficial and logical—even at the biological level of survival, resource conservation works.

To assess the harm of “positive thinking,” we need to understand that we are pushing real feelings and problems even deeper into the shadow of the subconscious. All the negativity—anger, envy, resentments—will stay with us and soon start to harm us. There are many ways this can happen: addictions, outbursts of anger, psychosomatic illnesses, and causing “good” to others.

Words Should Follow Experience

What should we do? Don’t fall for cheap tricks; instead, study the laws of life and psychology. For example:

• Loving yourself means fully accepting the part of yourself that you hate the most.
• Despising money won’t make you rich. Undervaluing success won’t help you build a career. Betraying your dream won’t bring you happiness.

First comes action, then words. How so?

Words (affirmations) should be the result of experience and practice. A person performs an action and then objectively evaluates it: “I felt confident in this matter” or “I felt insecure.” They write the truth in their notebook, analyze it: praise themselves for the first or come to terms with the second, and draw a conclusion: yes, there is a program of insecurity. What am I afraid of? Why did I give up? Can I admit this to myself? What shadow feeling lies behind this: guilt, shame?

The main thing is not to turn the negative program into an affirmation. It needs to be realized—gradually brought out from the subconscious. If you lack the resolve for self-therapy, you can turn to a specialist, but choose a verified one who doesn’t prescribe useless pills.

Repetition Is the Father of Forgetting

Three signs of a good affirmation:

1. They should reflect an objective picture of the world, supported by personal experience.

For example:

• “There is no more evil in the world than there is in yourself.”
• “If you didn’t shoot, you missed 100%.”

But don’t justify your actions even with wise laws. Constantly seek confirmation in reality… or refutation. The path to higher wisdom is long and complex.

2. They should be yours, not imposed by someone else.

Here, responsibility is important, not the exact wording of the phrase. Neither a psychologist nor a wise book is responsible for the choices in your life. Understanding this is the first step towards maturity and getting rid of childish belief in free cheese.

3. They do not require mechanical repetition over a specified period.

A paradox? No. Inner conviction in your own beauty, courage, and success is the main affirmation. It won’t happen as a result of cramming. Repetition is the father of forgetting because what is learned mindlessly will be forgotten much faster than what is experienced and felt in reality with 100% involvement and desire.

You can come to believe in yourself only after understanding and accepting the reasons for disbelief. Affirmations can become an additional means of self-knowledge and milestones on the life path, but they are neither a panacea for all problems nor a serious therapeutic tool. And by the way, you don’t need to write down this “affirmation” either: what if it turns out to be imposed and not supported by your personal experience?

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