Sex Shop Director Alla Piramova: The Secrets to Female Orgasm and the Truth About BDSM

Alla Piramova, the director of the Minsk sex shop Evolution, shares her insights on the misconceptions surrounding sex, the true meaning behind popular practices, and why sex toys are essential for women. She emphasizes that “BDSM is not always about sex; it’s primarily about trust. A person literally hands over control of their body to another.”

The ABCs of Sex and Relationships

Anal Plugs

Anal plugs are a popular and intriguing product. They come in various types but serve the same purpose: to relax the muscles and make anal sex easier and more comfortable. Using anal plugs for preparation is crucial, as is purchasing a lubricant. However, using enemas for additional preparation is not recommended, as it can do more harm than good. Instead, consider using small, specialized showers available in sex shops.

BDSM

It’s essential to understand that people who enjoy BDSM are not sick but entirely normal, provided their activities stay within legal boundaries and are consensual. The brain centers responsible for pain and pleasure are closely located, and pain can trigger endorphin production in the brain’s neurons. Therefore, people who derive pleasure from non-harmful pain are not sick.

BDSM is not always about sex; it’s primarily about trust. A person literally hands over control of their body to another. These practices often involve immobilization and inflicting minimal bodily harm, such as spanking, which results in bruises but nothing critical. However, it’s crucial to ensure that the person in the submissive role feels comfortable, as things can escalate into physical or psychological trauma if they go wrong.

Before each session, there should be a discussion about what is and isn’t allowed. BDSM is not about violence but about actions that satisfy all participants. A significant percentage of our clients are interested in these techniques, which often help partners find common ground.

Vaginal Trainers

To prevent or address certain issues, such as pelvic organ prolapse or blood stasis in the pelvic area, it’s necessary to train and strengthen the pelvic floor muscles. This can be done using vaginal balls. This procedure is crucial because, due to various diseases of the urogenital system, age-related changes, childbirth, surgery, collagen depletion, or even intense workouts, the pelvic floor muscles can weaken, leading to other consequences. Prevention is always better than treatment. Additionally, exercises with vaginal trainers enhance blood circulation in the pelvic area, positively affecting women’s health.

A common misconception, unfortunately still popular on the internet and even in lectures by some trainers and gynecologists, is that vaginal ball exercises can make childbirth easier. This is not true. However, these exercises are essential for young mothers to strengthen weakened muscles and recover after childbirth. You can start these exercises a month after giving birth, but always consult a doctor first.

Another popular belief is that vaginal trainers can prevent uterine prolapse, which is quite common. The uterus is held in place by ligaments attached to the pelvic walls, so the organ’s position can only be changed through surgery. This issue is rooted in a genetic weakness of the ligamentous apparatus.

Dominance

Dominance is not about coercion. A person who dominates in BDSM relationships may not necessarily be dominant in real life. This debunks the myth that such sexual preferences are found in people who seek power and control, as the opposite is often true.

A dominant bears significant responsibility during a session. They must technically perform everything correctly while ensuring they don’t psychologically overwhelm their partner or client more than necessary. Therefore, all actions must be discussed beforehand.

Lubricant

There’s nothing wrong with using lubricant during sex. It not only prolongs the sexual act and makes it more comfortable but also plays a crucial role, as the risk of condom damage or mucosal injury is high without it.

The amount of natural lubrication a woman produces depends on various factors, such as the day of the menstrual cycle, level of arousal and mood, stress, etc. There can be a lot of it, but it may dry quickly, or there may be little, but it lasts longer. Therefore, it’s convenient and comfortable to have lubricant on hand.

During anal sex, lubricant must be used continuously. The anus lacks glands that produce lubrication, and its absence can lead to micro-tears, inflammation, and even some diseases. The most popular products in this niche are water-based lubricants, suitable for all types of sex, including with toys.

Masturbation

Masturbation is a normal and healthy activity. It’s not something you only do when you’re not in a relationship. Essentially, it’s sex with yourself, and no one knows you better than you do.

Sex is about emotions, passion, caresses, and care. It’s different for everyone. A partner should never be jealous of you watching porn, and masturbation doesn’t mean you’re lacking sex. Primarily, it’s about wanting to be alone with yourself, explore your body, and develop sensitivity.

Orgasm

Many people, including some incompetent specialists, claim that there are various types of orgasms: anal, vaginal, uterine, and so on. This is a huge misconception because only two organs are responsible for achieving orgasm in the female body: the brain and the clitoris.

People often confuse concepts. Orgasm can indeed be achieved in different ways. Some experience a myotonic orgasm from tensing the muscles of the pelvis, abdomen, and thighs, while others can achieve it through nipple or earlobe stimulation. However, it’s clear that the orgasm doesn’t occur in these body parts. A woman’s orgasm is one and clitoral. If a “uterine” orgasm existed, women would die during their first periods, as the uterus lacks nerve endings.

In the 1960s and 1970s, Helen Kaplan worked at an institute studying sexual problems. Through her research, she identified the orgasm transfer technique called “The Bridge.” The essence of this technique is…

For further reading, consider this resource on sexual health.