Raising a Successful Child: Expert Tips from a Sports Psychologist
Raising a Successful Child: Expert Tips from a Sports Psychologist
Practicing sports psychologist Ekaterina Bucha-Mulyarchik shares insights on the challenges faced by modern parents, the qualities they need to develop, and practical tips for successful child-rearing.
Understanding Modern Children
As a sports psychologist, I’ve observed that today’s children are vastly different from those born in the 1990s or earlier. Physically, modern children often struggle with basic skills like coordination and agility, which were once developed naturally through activities like climbing trees and playing outdoor games. Today’s children are less active, leading to a lack of age-appropriate motor skills.
Moreover, many educational and parenting methods used today were developed during the Soviet era and are outdated in our fast-paced, digital world. It’s crucial to consider the psychological characteristics of modern children when raising them.
Attend to Your Child’s Needs
If a child constantly seeks attention or acts out, it’s often a sign that their needs are not being met. Every tantrum or demand is a manifestation of an unmet need or desire. Unfortunately, many parents resort to silencing these behaviors with gadgets or cartoons, which only masks the underlying issue.
Parents themselves are often glued to their phones, becoming oblivious to their own needs and those of their children. Additionally, many children struggle to express their feelings because discussing emotions is not a common practice in their families.
Parents should observe their children closely, noting their desires, emotions, and the reasons behind them. However, to understand your child’s needs, you must first be in tune with your own. A simple exercise can help: set an alarm to go off at random times, and when it does, ask yourself, “What am I feeling right now? Am I hungry, thirsty, cold, or hot?” This practice enhances self-awareness and control.
Foster a Love for Reading
Reading is irreplaceable for developing a child’s imaginative thinking and visual imagery. Unlike movies, which provide ready-made solutions, reading helps children develop cognitive skills like planning and understanding cause-and-effect relationships.
Parents should cultivate a reading culture at home. Children often mimic their parents’ behaviors, so if parents are frequently on their gadgets and rarely read, children are likely to follow suit. For instance, a mother who never read “The Captain’s Daughter” in school cannot expect her child to enjoy it.
Educate Yourself
Many parents are physically adults but psychologically immature, struggling to take responsibility for their actions. For example, in a candy store, parents might expect their three-year-old to behave independently, which is unrealistic. Children at this age need constant supervision and engagement.
Parents must anticipate the consequences of their children’s actions and consider their age and psychological traits. In the candy store example, the parents failed to do this and instead blamed the child for the situation.
Encourage Independence
When parents do things for their children that they can and should do themselves, they foster dependence. This lack of responsibility can affect various aspects of a child’s life, such as their performance in team sports.
Over-parenting can stifle a child’s independence, responsibility, and leadership qualities. This is particularly crucial in raising boys.
