Mastering Your Emotions: A Guide to Emotional Intelligence

It’s a well-known fact that emotions influence our thinking, reactions, and behavior. However, most people are “emotionally illiterate,” meaning they can’t identify and understand how their own emotions and those of others affect their thoughts and actions. Our culture and upbringing have turned emotions into a bad word.

The Importance of Emotional Intelligence

Back in 1912, German psychologist William Stern introduced the concept of measuring intellectual abilities using the now widely known IQ (Intelligence Quotient). Fast forward 83 years, American psychologist Daniel Goleman made waves by asserting that EQ (Emotional Quotient or Emotional Intelligence) plays a more crucial role than IQ. This is because managing one’s emotions and accurately perceiving others’ feelings characterize intelligence more precisely than logical thinking.

The Impact of Emotional Intelligence

According to Goleman, “emotional competence is the ability to recognize and acknowledge one’s own feelings, as well as those of others, for self-motivation, managing one’s emotions within oneself, and in relationships with others.” Experts have concluded that our success is determined 85% by EQ and only 15% by IQ. Neglecting emotional competence can lead to poor results in both career and personal life.

Benefits of High EQ

Developed EQ skills allow us to view our emotions and those of others as resources, enhancing our effectiveness in communicating with colleagues, subordinates, clients, and family. High EQ contributes to personal development, career advancement, creativity, productivity, improved health, and a sense of satisfaction and happiness. EQ is not related to emotionality in the traditional sense. An emotionally temperamental person may have a low EQ due to an inability to analyze and manage emotions, while a calm and balanced individual may demonstrate a high level of emotional intelligence.

Understanding Emotional Intelligence

The term “emotional intelligence” combines “emotional” and “intelligence,” implying:

The ability to immerse oneself in emotions to understand and feel them.
The necessity of rational analysis of emotions and decision-making based on that analysis. Emotions carry a wealth of information that can help us act more effectively. Practice shows that those who can control themselves in critical moments and not succumb to anger, irritation, or despair achieve the greatest success in life.

N. Hall’s Methodology for Determining EQ Level

Below are statements that reflect various aspects of your life. Please mark the column with the corresponding score that best reflects your agreement with the statement.

Scoring:

Completely disagree (-3 points)
Mostly disagree (-2 points)
Partially disagree (-1 point)
Partially agree (+1 point)
Mostly agree (+2 points)
Completely agree (+3 points)

Key to N. Hall’s Emotional Intelligence Methodology

Self-Awareness Scale: Items 1, 2, 4, 17, 19, 25
Self-Control Scale: Items 3, 7, 8, 10, 18, 30
Self-Motivation Scale: Items 5, 6, 13, 14, 16, 22
Empathy Scale: Items 9, 11, 20, 21, 23, 28
Relationship Management Scale: Items 12, 15, 24, 26, 27, 29

Calculating Results

For each scale, sum the scores considering the sign of the response (+ or -). The higher the positive sum, the more pronounced the emotional manifestation.

14 and above: High
8-13: Medium
7 and below: Low

Overall Emotional Intelligence Level

70 and above: High
40-69: Medium
39 and below: Low

Ingredients of Emotional Competence

According to the test, the main components of emotional competence are:

Self-awareness
Self-control
Self-motivation
Empathy
Relationship management

Self-awareness is the main element of emotional intelligence. A person with high self-awareness knows their strengths and weaknesses and can recognize their own emotions. Self-awareness means a deep understanding of oneself, one’s needs, and motivations.

Self-control is a result of self-awareness. A person with this trait not only “knows themselves” but has also learned to manage themselves and their emotions. After all, even though our emotions are driven by biological impulses, we can learn to control them.

For further reading, you can visit the Wikipedia page on Emotional Intelligence.