Joining the Army for Love: A Journey of Courage and Commitment

In our comfortable lives, grand romantic gestures seem like a thing of the past. Nursing a wounded soldier or following a revolutionary husband into exile are rare occurrences. Today, the height of magnanimity might be putting down your smartphone during a conversation with your significant other. However, love still inspires us to take unexpected actions. I had the chance to speak with a young woman who chose not to wait for her boyfriend to return from the army but decided to enlist and serve alongside him.

Meeting Vera, 25

Vera, a 25-year-old woman, began dating Pasha during her second year at the Academy of Culture. They lived in the same dormitory; she was a student of jazz vocals, and he was a saxophonist. For Vera, this was her first real relationship, a true love story. The following year, Pasha graduated and was drafted into the army. Vera had one more year of studies left and faced a long separation from the man she couldn’t imagine living without.

The Decision to Enlist

The military unit where Pasha was stationed was fortunately not too far from Vera’s city, just a night train ride away. In the first few months, Pasha told his superior about his girlfriend studying at the Academy of Culture. The superior suggested that Vera could also enlist in the military orchestra as a contract service member.

Vera didn’t hesitate for long. She couldn’t bear the thought of waiting for Pasha for a whole year. Enlisting seemed like a great opportunity not only to stay close to him but also to start earning a living. She immediately began preparing the necessary documents, undergoing medical examinations, and dealing with other bureaucratic procedures. She completed her third year of studies early and decided to take her fourth year through correspondence.

Preparing for Military Life

To work in the orchestra, Vera needed to learn a musical instrument quickly. She chose the clarinet, took a few lessons at a nearby institute, and then relied on self-study. Soon after, there were the usual send-off parties with relatives and friends. The sign on the military commissariat read: “Contract service is a job for real men,” and Vera had no idea what awaited her.

The Challenges of Military Service

Her work started off well enough. The collective was predominantly male, which wasn’t surprising, with women making up about a third of the group. After a couple of months, they were sent on a business trip to another city. This was a real boot camp for women: they dug trenches, ran marches, and practiced shooting. Describing how tough it was seems pointless.

Vera’s physical fitness was almost non-existent; she had even skipped physical education classes in school. Weighing just 49 kilograms, she was lighter than all the military gear she had to wear: a helmet, bulletproof vest, backpack, canteen, and other soldier accessories. She remembers lying down to shoot and not being able to get up on her own. The commander laughed as he lifted her helmet, which had slipped over her eyes. She fired blindly upwards, somehow got up, and ran on.

Love and Marriage in the Army

These two weeks of grueling training did not dampen Vera’s desire to serve. She still found everything new and interesting. She saw Pasha often. As soon as his mandatory service ended, he switched to a contract, and they got married. They had a simple civil ceremony without any celebrations, but six months later, at the insistence of Vera’s parents, they had a proper wedding with a dress, guests, and all the festivities. Pasha worked in the same orchestra, so they were together almost all the time and only parted when he was on duty. Surprisingly, they didn’t get tired of each other and even managed to miss each other.

Performances and Travels

They began performing at holidays and traveling on business trips to other military units. They were given a service apartment. They dreamed of serving 25 years and receiving their own housing from the state.

The Strain on Relationships

Vera doesn’t know exactly when their relationship started to deteriorate. Pasha had always been extremely jealous, something she noticed even during their student days but tried to ignore. Sometimes he would start arguments, and there were even half-joking fights. There were no real reasons for jealousy since they were practically inseparable. Some painful suspiciousness constantly tormented him, and Vera didn’t know how to handle it.

Work also became oppressive. The collective turned out to be, frankly, rotten, which partly affected their relationship. They were big on humiliating the weak, plotting, gossiping, and asserting themselves at others’ expense in any way possible. The military unit was located in a small settlement with nowhere to go for entertainment. Moreover, they couldn’t leave the settlement on their own, so the environment was generally closed and depressing.

The End of a Chapter

Endless arguments eventually destroyed their relationship. Two years after the wedding, they divorced. Vera’s marriage turned out to be shorter than her army contract; she still had a little over six months left to serve. Being in that collective, next to her ex-husband and gossipy colleagues, was torturous. Her first thought was to break the contract, but that would have closed the door to military service forever, and she didn’t want that. The army was her first and only work experience. She didn’t know how life would turn out, so it was worth keeping a backup option. She considered transferring to another unit and even started negotiations with the local leadership she met during one of the business trips. They were ready to accept her, but it turned out that the transfer would extend her service by another year, so she refused the idea.

After serving her three years, Vera finally received her discharge and said goodbye to the hated unit.

Reflections on Military Service

What did Vera dislike most about military service? The absurdity of orders, meaningless paperwork, old equipment, and dilapidated premises. It wasn’t just her unit; in other units where she went, musicians lived roughly the same way. The professional training of military personnel also leaves much to be desired. Overall, the army is a rather foolish way to spend time.

What did this experience give her? Iron nerves, as well as resistance to stress and nonsense. Although, perhaps, she is still too sensitive.

A New Beginning

Her personal life improved quite quickly. She met her current boyfriend when she went to a café with a girlfriend to celebrate her divorce. The young man had also served in her unit and, as it turned out, had long been fond of her. Now they live together, and she simply adores him. She doesn’t think she will ever serve in the army again, but she is definitely ready to reconcile with the role of a military wife.

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