Hooked: How to Get People to Do What You Want

Psychology is a fascinating field with an underestimated impact on our daily lives. Understanding its intricacies can help you comprehend yourself and others better, and even leverage psychological insights to achieve your goals. This natural form of persuasion can be useful in both personal and professional settings, especially if you are navigating traditionally male-dominated fields where assertiveness is key. Here are some intriguing psychological tricks to help you get what you want.

The Illusion of Choice

One of the oldest and most classic tactics to get people to do what you want is to give them a choice while subtly limiting their options. For instance, if you want someone to do something they are reluctant about, offer them a choice between doing part of the task or the entire task. Chances are, they will opt for the lesser amount of work, still achieving your goal. This trick can also be useful at home with children who refuse to eat what you’ve prepared.

The Power of Silence

Nothing unsettles a speaker more than a silent listener. It may sound paradoxical, but speakers subconsciously expect immediate reactions. By remaining silent, you can make your speaker anxious and more likely to reveal additional information. Use this technique when you want to learn more than what your speaker initially offers. Ask a question and then remain silent. As they approach the more sensitive parts of their story, your lack of reaction may prompt them to share more intriguing details to engage you.

Building Trust

To build rapport and subconscious trust, try borrowing something personal from the person, like a handkerchief, pen, or book. The act of lending personal items creates a subconscious bond and a sense of investment in you. This feeling can be leveraged to interest them in your ideas or projects. Additionally, the mutual exchange of items can train the brain to feel sympathy towards the person using your belongings.

Mirroring Body Language

To make a positive impression, try mirroring the body language of your conversation partner. Next time you want to impress your boss or attract the attention of someone you like, subtly mimic their posture or gestures. This behavior can subconsciously foster sympathy towards you. However, be careful not to be too obvious, as it might come off as mockery.

Using Nouns Instead of Verbs

When you need to elicit a specific action from someone, use nouns instead of verbs. Nouns are more powerful in such contexts because they convey a sense of belonging to a particular group, making the atmosphere more conducive to action. For example, instead of asking if someone will work with you next year, ask what working with you means to them. This approach can yield more interesting results.

The Art of Uncertainty

Avoid being overly confident, especially when trying to persuade someone to do what you want. Paradoxically, a touch of uncertainty can be more compelling. Next time you want someone to take the initiative, incorporate more uncertainty and doubt into your speech. This can prompt them to act.

The Speed of Speech

The way you convey your ideas is as important as the ideas themselves. If you don’t want your conversation partner to argue with you, speak quickly. This gives them less time to formulate their thoughts and they are less likely to disagree. Conversely, when someone agrees with you, slow down your speech to give them more time to appreciate the merits of your idea.