Coping with Loss: The Power of Caring People and Emotional Support

According to statistics, Belarus saw 120,913 deaths in 2019, with the mortality rate increasing to 133,919 in 2020, as reported by countrymeters.info. Dealing with the loss of a loved one is a challenging journey, but it’s possible to navigate through it with the support of caring individuals. Drawing insights from the character in the series “Psych,” psychologist Valentina Dudinskaya shares strategies to cope with loss while minimizing emotional distress.

The Series “Psych” and Its Impact

The series “Psych,” directed by Fyodor Bondarchuk, has garnered widespread acclaim from both professional critics and viewers alike. It tells the complex story of a successful psychotherapist, Oleg (played by Konstantin Bogomolov), who loses a loved one.

At one point, Oleg finds solace in a life-sized, professionally crafted silicone doll that he treats as his missing wife. This unusual coping mechanism raises questions about whether it accelerates or hinders the healing process after a loss.

The Five Stages of Grief

There are five recognized stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. To truly overcome the loss of a loved one, it’s essential to experience each of these stages. Typically, this process takes one to two years. However, the main character in the series becomes stuck between denial and anger, which complicates his healing journey.

In his situation, this stagnation is understandable. The sudden and unexpected nature of his loss makes acceptance particularly difficult. For a long time, he continues to hope and believe that things will return to normal, but when they don’t, his anger manifests as self-destructive behavior, including drug use and lashing out at those around him.

The Psychological Impact of Loss

Sigmund Freud once noted that we never willingly let go of our emotional experiences. Even when someone leaves us, it doesn’t mean we’ve psychologically ended the relationship. We continue to build and maintain these relationships in our minds. This is precisely what happens to the character in the series. By attributing his wife’s characteristics to the doll, he avoids accepting the reality of his loss and remains trapped in his familiar worldview.

In my professional and personal life, I often encounter people who simply don’t know how to provide emotional support. They struggle to listen and truly hear others, which can exacerbate feelings of isolation and despair. This lack of support is one of the psychological reasons why the main character in the series contemplates ending his own life.

However, professional psychological help isn’t always necessary if there are caring people around. If the clients in Oleg’s life had such support, his work as a therapist would be much easier.

How to Accept the Situation

During this difficult period, mourning rituals can be incredibly helpful. These rituals allow us to say goodbye, acknowledge the life and death of our loved one, and ultimately give ourselves permission to live without them. Emotions also play a crucial role in healing. The phrase “cry out your grief” holds truth—tears can provide emotional release. In the past, professional mourners were hired for funerals to help facilitate this process. If you feel the need to cry, be sad, or grieve, allow yourself to do so. Suppressing emotions is not the answer.

Supporting Someone in Grief

When supporting someone who is grieving, approach them with understanding and care. Express your condolences through words or gestures, such as a hug or holding their hand. Avoid telling them to “pull themselves together,” as this can prevent them from fully processing their loss. Instead, let them feel and experience their emotions while you remain by their side.

Use active or empathetic listening. Focus on the speaker, their words, and their expressions. Ask clarifying questions and avoid interrupting. Offer specific help if they ask for it, but refrain from giving unsolicited advice.

Avoid clichéd phrases like “everything will be okay,” “don’t cry,” or “it’s for the best.” These words often fail to provide comfort. What people truly need is to be heard and understood. In most cases, this is enough.

For further reading on coping with grief, you can visit HelpGuide, a trusted resource for mental health information.