6 Reasons You’re Attracting Toxic Men
6 Reasons You’re Attracting Toxic Men
You’re the ideal partner: you’re considerate, fun to be around, great in bed, comfortable to live with, and engaging over a cup of coffee. Yet, another relationship has ended in failure because the man you thought was fantastic turned out to be a complete jerk. There are reasons why smart, wonderful women like you attract toxic men, and it’s time you learned them.
1. You Settle for What’s Available
It’s not that you’re desperate and jump at the first man who comes along, but he doesn’t have to put in much effort to win your heart. Two arms, two legs (though even that’s not strictly necessary), and a desire to stay in your life are enough for your romance-hungry imagination to fill in the rest.
You’re mature and adaptable enough to get along with almost any man, and that’s the problem. You lower your standards because of the attention and decent treatment from another jerk. That’s a big mistake, girlfriend, because it will only lead to disappointment and thoughts of “How could I have fallen for that?”
2. You’re Too Nice
It’s great to feel understanding and different from those perpetually dissatisfied, hysterical women. His friends admire how you greet him with a sweet smile after another night out. Can’t pick me up from work because you have to drive Serega to the store for groceries? No problem, dear. Buy something for dinner on the way? Sure thing, honey.
It’s time to put an end to this generosity. Don’t you see that his hairy size 45 feet are resting on your chest while he sits on your neck? Your empathy blinds you to the fact that you’re excusing utterly boorish behavior.
3. You Believe Sex Can Turn into Something More
A lack of a relationship is no reason to deprive yourself of sex, so as a smart woman, you see nothing wrong with a little fling. Casual sex is good, wonderful, and magnificent, but only as long as you’re both on the same page of the three N’s: “No one owes anyone anything.”
If you’re catching feelings and fooling yourself into thinking your connection will grow into something more, forget it. You’re just a pretty face for a toxic man looking to pass the time. Heroine.
4. You Try Too Hard
There’s nothing wrong with putting effort into a relationship, but only if you’re getting the same in return. You’re doing all the work, insisting it’s not hard, and then suffering and resenting that he takes it all for granted. When you love, giving is much more pleasant than receiving, but make sure the man is worth it.
5. You Sometimes Feel Unworthy of Love
Most of the time, you know you’re attractive, smart, interesting, and appealing to men. But sometimes, paranoid thoughts creep in that you’re unworthy of love. Sweetheart, those are past failures pulling you into a swamp of doubt, at the bottom of which lies low self-esteem, a marriage to a deadbeat, and a worn-out, hideously colored bathrobe. You know you deserve better, so don’t let those defeatist moods take over.
6. You’re Attracted to the Same Type of Men
If you’ve ever thought that all men are the same, it’s time to change your behavior patterns. Chances are, you already sense that this guy is a jerk, but you’re drawn to him for another dose of emotions. Until you realize it’s time to raise your standards and perhaps start a relationship with a slightly boring but good and reliable man, neither motivational books, nor a psychologist, nor even our articles will help.
Stop deceiving yourself and starting doomed relationships. A miracle won’t happen this time or the next. The sooner you start looking for a partner outside your usual type, the sooner you’ll find something real.
