The Secrets to a Happy Woman: Beyond Wealth and Health
Unveiling the Secrets to a Happy Woman
Positive psychologists worldwide have conducted extensive research revealing that happiness is not contingent on income level, climate, religious beliefs, or overall health. Happiness is a stable state characterized by inner peace, fulfillment, and joy. Olga Pavlova, a human resources development consultant, trainer, business psychologist, and head of the Business Growth Center, shares insights on the traits of a happy woman.
Is There a Formula for Happiness?
Interestingly, scientists have delved into this as well. There’s a specific branch of scientific psychology dedicated to studying happiness. While renowned psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi explored the unique state of flow associated with work-related happiness, positive psychologist Martin Seligman examined happiness linked to various aspects of human life.
Long-term, diverse tests and observations of numerous volunteers have led to the establishment of a happiness formula. Notably, this formula is similar for both men and women across most countries. It turns out that some individuals are more predisposed to feeling happy than others. However, with certain efforts, shifting one’s mindset towards positivity can enhance the overall stable sense of happiness.
Optimists Are Happier
Not idealists who blindly believe in luck, but sensible individuals. They handle life’s blows more calmly, learn from their experiences, and return to their happiness baseline more quickly. Pessimists, on the other hand, believe they are perpetually unlucky and dismiss success as mere chance.
Developing a positive mindset begins with accepting reality and understanding one’s responsibility within it. A healthy and somewhat critical individual can distinguish between what needs to be accepted and what requires work.
Occasionally, a touch of pessimism and even nitpicking is necessary—such as in the final stages of a project, before self-assessing exam readiness, or before purchasing a car. This doesn’t mean setting oneself up for failure, but rather asking all the crucial and sometimes uncomfortable questions before taking the final step to ensure you’ve done everything possible.
Communicative and Family-Oriented People Are Happier
It’s unclear whether family is a result of sociability or vice versa, but having 2-3 close individuals, 5-6 acquaintances, and 5-6 distant friends or relatives ensures a support network. Caring for children, conscious parenting, and engaging in educational activities also boost happiness levels.
People Who Find Meaning Experience the Highest Level of Happiness
Martin Seligman, the author of numerous happiness studies, recommends exercises to find meaning in simple activities like walking with a child, preparing breakfast, choosing a gift, or routine tasks such as writing a report.
Finding meaning in even the most mentally taxing work prevents burnout. Discovering purpose in each work step liberates individuals from the dependence on others’ opinions.
Those Who Enjoy the Moment Are Happy
All pleasures should be savored. It’s no coincidence that the trend of slow living is emerging—slow food, slow sex, meaningful conversations with friends, comfortable reading, joyful play with children, etc.
Repetitive pleasures can become monotonous. Alternating pleasures sustains the source of joy. Spiritual pleasures, intellectual work, and altruism provide not just enjoyment but satisfaction that maintains our joy for significantly longer.
Those Who Believe in God Are Happy
This factor seems to be a combination of many conditions we’ve already discussed. Belief in God provides meaning, offers humility, and acceptance that not everything in life is within our control. It motivates us to work and develop to the best of our abilities, to cherish our loved ones and life. Moreover, love for God gives individuals a sense of constant companionship. Spiritual practices, prayer, meditation—anything aimed at mindfulness and calming the mind—also enhances happiness levels.
Developing Your Happiness Level Involves:
- Working on the past—learning to be grateful, forgive, repay debts, atone for guilt, draw conclusions, and let go of resentments or at least acknowledge them.
- Working on the present—savoring the moment, finding meaning in your actions, caring for loved ones, showing altruism, displaying a sense of humor and creativity, and developing sociability.
- Working on the future—dreaming, maintaining a positive outlook, healthy optimism (not to be confused with idealization and irresponsibility), having backup strategies, honestly assessing risks, and understanding your goals and priorities.
So, What Does a Happy Woman Look Like?
She has let go of several limiting beliefs such as “there’s not enough for everyone,” “there are no decent men in our country,” “there’s no happiness in life,” “happiness must be earned through hard work and sweat,” “today you laugh, tomorrow you cry,” “I’ll rest later.” Debunking these negative beliefs is like a knight removing his visor, putting his shield in the corner, and hanging his sword on the wall.
Her ego, with its self-control and super-tasks, idealized demands on herself and others, is exposed and becomes healthier. Who is hidden behind this armor? Let’s meet a loving or love-ready woman, lively, spontaneous, light, and strong simultaneously.
This joyful woman understands that love is her own experience. The source is within her own soul. Of course, the strength of love depends on reciprocal steps, and love can be killed or frozen by coldness.
But overall, she enjoys loving: if she loves reading, she has favorite authors; she rejoices when drinking her favorite tea; she knows her favorite scents; she loves her cat. She creates a space of love, enjoying the feeling itself. She is honest and knows she does this for herself.
She loves herself. She takes care of herself, her safety, her appearance, and respects herself. She grows, develops, knows her flaws without fearing them. She smiles and says, “Yes, that’s me.” No one but her decides what’s important and what’s not. Beautiful clothes, massages, jewelry—all for herself, not for public opinion.
She accepts love. Once, a psychotherapist told a client: “You want love? Start by accepting your son’s love. Not that? Then it’s a matter of pride.” Utilize the sources of love in your life, take, drink. A joyful woman creates opportunities for loved ones to express their love for her, is grateful, and rejoices like a child. If you can appreciate love, you will attract others with your warmth and vitality.
She knows nothing is eternal, and there are no guarantees. If she is happy and at peace with someone, she enjoys the moments of spiritual closeness. If “in the end, everything will be fine,” then she is happy now.
