5 Personal Things in a Relationship You Should Never Share, Even with Your Best Friend

Even if you’re a private person, you probably share a lot about your relationship with your best friend. It’s beneficial because she can celebrate with you, offer valuable advice, or simply provide an outside perspective. However, there are limits to this openness, even with your closest friend since second grade. Some aspects of your relationship should remain private, not to be shared with friends, family, or even the President of Russia if asked. This is your personal space, and intruding upon it is poor form. Plus, keeping these matters private will likely save you from unnecessary problems.

Sexual Fantasies

Never discuss your partner’s sexual fantasies or imaginings with anyone. While there might be nothing objectionable or extravagant about them, it’s best to keep these details to yourself. Let the role-playing games, where he dresses as the Big Bad Wolf or the CEO of Gazprom, stay between the two of you. Put yourself in his shoes: would you appreciate him sharing your most intimate details with his friends? Men generally don’t discuss such things in their circles. If you feel compelled to brag about your partner’s bedroom prowess, keep the details vague and focus on your own fantasies and desires, as sharing those is entirely your prerogative.

Financial Struggles

The financial aspect of a relationship can be more sensitive than the sexual one. Imagine that, besides physical attributes, men have an ephemeral “financial” counterpart they take great pride in. So, if he’s experiencing difficulties with money or career, it’s best not to mention these issues to anyone. It’s better to discuss his bedroom failures (though we don’t recommend that either) than his financial setbacks. Be patient; things will improve. Support him during tough times, and explain to your friend that you can’t go shopping or café-hopping as frequently because you’re saving for a new TV or a vacation in Sochi. Given the current prices for Black Sea vacations, she’ll understand perfectly.

Air Dirty Laundry

Speaking ill of your partner is never a good idea, even if he’s angered or upset you. Avoid badmouthing him behind his back. If you need to vent to your friend, describe the situation neutrally; she’ll understand without the name-calling. There are other ways to let off steam. For instance, channel your negative energy into physical activity—hit the gym, do a thorough house cleaning, or beat the rugs vigorously. Alternatively, you could print a large photo of your loved one, attach it to a pillow, and give him a piece of your mind, or even a good whack. Once your irritation subsides, you might even feel sorry for him, but no one will be hurt or offended. Your friend will still think you’re a wonderful, loving person. After all, we all have moments of irritability and nervousness.

Bedroom Issues

Men’s libido is closely tied to their mental state. If he’s struggling with work, facing a crisis, experiencing low self-esteem, or dealing with other problems, he might lose interest in sex or become preoccupied with his own issues. In any case, it’s best not to discuss bedroom problems with anyone except a sexologist—and only if the issue persists systematically. Most importantly, don’t project these problems onto yourself; you haven’t become less attractive or desirable. The problem likely lies elsewhere. A psychologist, an honest conversation with your loved one, or simply time can help resolve the situation.

Infidelity

Never tell your best friend about your partner’s infidelity. If this unfortunate event occurs, it’s best to deal with it alone, without outside advice. Whether you forgive the unfaithful man or make a decisive move is your pure and unclouded decision, uninfluenced by any outsiders. In such cases, listen only to your feelings—and your partner’s feelings as he explains the situation. Moreover, if you share this information with anyone other than your best friend, you could significantly complicate the life of the person you care about. What would happen if his relatives or colleagues found out about his actions? We’re confident that you’re above this and can handle such a situation maturely. We wholeheartedly wish that you never find yourself in such a situation.

For further reading, consider exploring how to maintain love and respect in a relationship for many years.