10 Ridiculously Funny Ways People Dance in Clubs

As Joseph Brodsky, a seasoned connoisseur of Dionysian delights, once said, “When love is not with us, when we’re hunched from the cold, take a pistol from your suitcase, pawn it, buy a gramophone, and dance somewhere in the world.” You can’t argue with the classics; dancing is indeed the best medicine. After a couple of tequila shots, the dance floor sees all sorts of “patients,” and they’re usually not backup dancers for Beyoncé. We love watching people dance, so we’ve compiled a top-10 list of the silliest dance moves you might see in a club. Take note, so you know what not to do, even if you’re a little tipsy.

The Candy

This dance combines freedom, sexuality, and confidence, but clearly not any knowledge of dance art. The lack of plasticity is more than made up for by tousled hair and a sultry gaze—the most popular tools of seduction on the dance floor. Imagine an invisible window that needs washing, while the hips draw the infinity symbol. It’s a sight to behold.

The Tranquilizer

Not everyone loves rhythmic music. For some, moving on the dance floor in a semi-somnambulistic state is pure pleasure. As soon as the relaxing, psychedelic music starts, dancers with closed eyes, caressing themselves, and moving in slow motion emerge. They’re not concerned with the crowd’s attention; they’re wandering the intricate paths of their consciousness.

The Optimist

People crave enthusiasm, and optimists always stand out on the dance floor. They radiate energy, charge everyone around them, and truly light up the place. All it takes is more arm, leg, and hip movements, and plenty of jumps. Standing still is forbidden, and their smile can reach even the saddest regular at the club or bar. The only task near such dancers is to dodge their enthusiastic outbursts.

The Model

Here she is—the charming queen of gloss, who just stepped off the cover to let photographers create a true masterpiece from her calculated moves. She poses for the camera, capturing the gaze. The focus is on the face, aided by the hands, and the neck jerks as if the head is moving from side to side, like a mixer’s slider.

The Daring One

Even Beyoncé would envy this dance style. It has everything: rhythmic hip movements, sharp lunges, squats, and turns. To make the movements appear more sexual, the dancer might show off their assets, as daring dancers enjoy pleasing themselves, regardless of how silly they look. The more such a dancer fiddles with their clothes, the more the crowd gets excited, and soon enough, they might allow themselves a little striptease.

Incognito

An incredibly silly way to dance as if no one sees you is to turn your back to the crowd and face the wall. In this case, you won’t see anyone either. Just choose your favorite wall and rotate your body as if it’s your club, your music, and everyone around belongs to you.

The Fitness Instructor

A fitness instructor knows all about good, well-thought-out movements that are beneficial for health. The more actively such a dancer moves, the more calories they burn, and the more toned their muscles become. Therefore, the inner healthy lifestyle enthusiast in this slightly tipsy individual can’t help but want to make the entire dance floor follow their instructions.

The “I Want an iPhone”

This technique is a true art, not accessible to everyone. Here, you need to know how to attract attention and show off all your valuable talents of seduction, because iPhones aren’t given to just anyone. Watching such dancers, you might laugh through tears, because in their dance, all means are good, even improvised ones.

The Hipster

“And your hair flies like on the cover of a glossy magazine”—this is the motto of the hipster at the next party. Rhythmic head movements and an internal motor help them cut through space, making all the local hipsters envious. Such a dancer believes that the more their hair flies, the more passionate they look.

The Armpit

This type of dance is named for a reason. The whole body is involved, but the faithful companion on the dance floor for some girls is their own arm, thrown behind the head, exposing the armpit. After a few hours of partying and several shots of tequila, such seductresses appear on the dance floor, simply following their arm like Alice following the White Rabbit.