Why He Loves You But Won’t Marry: Understanding His Fear of Commitment
Understanding Why He Loves You But Won’t Marry
Hello! My name is Olga, and I have a question that many women ponder at some point in their lives. It’s about marriage. I’m 23, and my boyfriend is 26. We’ve been living together for almost two years. We rarely argue, have a great relationship, love, and appreciate each other. We’re even planning to have a child. But whenever the topic of marriage comes up, he suddenly comes up with dozens of improbable excuses. It’s not about finances; nothing is stopping us from becoming a family except for him.
Why Do Men Fear Marriage Even When in Love?
Hey there,
He says he doesn’t want to get married? Listen to him; you might thank him in a few years. In your letter, you mentioned that he makes up excuses. But are you sure these aren’t reasons that seem serious to him?
It’s possible that he has witnessed his parents’ unsuccessful marriage, leaving them deeply unhappy. What seems like financial stability to you might look like unstable ground to your partner. Men have many reasons not to get married, and women sometimes think these are jokes. However, our survey shows that these reasons are serious.
We often think that if a man doesn’t want to marry, it means he doesn’t love us enough. In reality, even loving men fear marriage, delay it, and hesitate. The more a partner presses and gets offended, the stronger the fear grows. Somewhere in the subconscious, it forms the idea that if there are arguments now, there will be more after the wedding.
Reflect on Your Desires
First, honestly ask yourself how important this wedding is to you. Why do you want it? What will it change in your life? Sometimes people get married because “it’s the right thing to do,” but marriage doesn’t guarantee the stability of long-term relationships.
Marriage is not something you can simply agree on or easily persuade someone to do. It’s painful to say, but no matter how much you do, if he doesn’t want to get married, you won’t change his mind. What you can do is show him that being married to you will be much better than not being married.
Communicate Openly
If you believe that marriage is essential for your relationship to continue, state this clearly and directly. Be sincere and tell him that his lack of initiative hurts you. Don’t beat around the bush or try to manipulate the situation to force him to say “yes, let’s do it.” Avoid saying that your parents are unhappy or that it’s time for you to get married. This might sound like “marry anyone, even if it’s not you,” which will further shake his confidence.
It’s much more concerning if he sets conditions that you must meet before getting married. It’s possible that you’re dealing with a narcissist. Life is too short to spend time on men who live by principles different from yours. So, if there’s no hope and marriage is extremely important to you, end the relationship and move on.
Conclusion
In conclusion, it’s crucial to understand that everyone has their own timeline and reasons for making life-changing decisions. Open communication, mutual respect, and understanding are key to navigating these complex emotions and decisions. Remember, it’s essential to stay true to your values and desires while respecting his feelings and fears.
