Vacation Romance: 7 Essential Rules to Enjoy Without Ruining Your Life

Vacation Romance: How to Recharge Without Ruining Your Marriage

“Vacation Romance: How to Recharge Morally Afterward and Not Ruin Your Marriage?” This is a question clients often ask psychologists after a seaside holiday. We spoke with psychologist Marina Matveeva about why vacation romances are always so vivid but often end in severe crises and how to save your mental health after a holiday intrigue.

Can You Prepare for a Vacation Romance?

Is it possible to mentally prepare for a vacation romance? This question is often asked by those who have already experienced the sorrow of love against the backdrop of sea landscapes. It’s unlikely that you can fully prepare for infatuation, even if it’s fleeting. However, you can set yourself up to some extent.

Marina Matveeva, Psychologist

“It all depends on the goal. If you want some kind of relationship, you need to be open to the world – after all, you can meet your loved one anywhere. If passion is not a priority, and you are going on vacation just to recharge, it simplifies the situation. In any case, any unforced communication on vacation will not be superfluous; it expands your worldview and horizons,” says the psychologist.

Marina Matveeva believes that any flirtation is not cheating, as many believe. There is a need for flirtation in all people: both those in relationships and those outside of them.

“Therefore, flirting is one thing, but then look at the circumstances. Sometimes, even with a sympathetic person, it is more than enough to just talk and stop there. If you are going for adventures, then dive in headfirst and get the most out of life.”

Is Vacation Romance for Non-Serious People?

Many believe that romances are the domain of non-serious people for whom relationships are not so important. But the psychologist says this is not entirely true.

“Vacation romances happen to different people. Some take romances more lightly, but that doesn’t mean they are any different. It’s just that flirting comes much easier to such people. And for some, starting any intrigue during a vacation will be difficult because they will think many times before deciding on something. But neither the first nor the second are immune to vacation adventures.”

Marina Matveeva cites some of her acquaintances as an example, who were role models in literally everything in life: they studied diligently in school, then in university, worked responsibly, always kept their word everywhere, and on vacation, they had that very vacation romance. So what?

“It’s simple: if you want non-serious relationships, you will attract these non-serious relationships. If you want serious relationships, they will appear in your life over time. And in general, take it all more simply,” notes the psychologist.

Rule #1: Be Spontaneous and Learn to Say “No”

Marina Matveeva believes that enjoying life here and now is a good practice. And vacation is not a place where you need to take everything too seriously. But at the same time, you should not be frivolous.

Act according to the circumstances: if you like someone – why not continue communicating with them, if you don’t like them and they want more from you – then you need to state your emotions and feelings.

“You need to learn to say ‘no’ – this is important in any life situation, including when meeting new people.”

Rule #2: Don’t Try to Drown Out Lost Love with a Romance

Some people treat vacation romances as a cure for the pain of failed relationships and seek solace in the arms of a stranger. But psychologists recommend being very careful here.

“You should not immediately jump into new relationships after previous ones have failed. This is not the best option. Ideally, you need to give yourself time to rest, time to rethink what happened to you.”

According to the psychologist, there are people who are more morally aware; they understand and accept the mistakes of previous relationships, draw conclusions, and move on in life. But, alas, there are few such people.

“Therefore, if after breaking up with previous relationships you met a new person somewhere on vacation, that’s great. But give yourself time – communicate, walk, show interest. Time is the main advisor here – it will tell you how to act correctly. And patching up your emotional wounds with someone else is incorrect and inhumane. Remember that you can cause pain to a person.”

In general, acquaintances on vacation are a good test of a person’s intentions and an opportunity to heal the wounds of past relationships, psychologists note.

“Do not close yourself off from communication. Especially after the end of previous relationships. This will help you cope with the pain. The support of other people is infinitely important to us.”

But still, it is better not to place high hopes on new relationships immediately after the end of previous ones.

Rule #3: Don’t Forget About Your Life

“Men and women are two different planets. We relate to everything differently. Some women meet a man and immediately start living for him. They refuse their own life, hobbies, girlfriends. And guys, returning home, easily switch. Not all, but very often.”

Therefore, do not marry a new lover in your thoughts, because in the end, for a man, this may turn out to be just entertainment.

“And it may happen that upon returning home, he will forget you. So do not torment yourself, do not wait for his call, do not live in illusions, try to be realists. If he calls – great, if not – it happens, and it’s not a tragedy.”

If a woman has interested a man, then to continue such a relationship, he will do a lot. And the woman will definitely notice this.

Rule #4: Don’t Idealize

You can get out of a vacation romance without a broken heart if you don’t expect anything from it. But practice shows that people often have inflated expectations from relationships.

“Even without knowing a person, we already attribute some special qualities to them that they may not even possess. And then, when they do not meet our expectations, we begin to blame them for being such and such. But the truth is that it’s not them, but you who attributed non-existent character qualities to them. So do not expect anything from anyone.”

Do not attribute any special meaning to other people’s words; actions are more important than words.

Rule #5: Vacation Romance and Happy Marriage Are Not the Same

Can a vacation romance end in a happy family life? It can, but this is rather an exception than a rule.

“This is a difficult question because such relationships are rare. To live a two-week romance and then decide that this is the love of your life – this requires courage. And most people have a lot of fears and concerns inside. Therefore, almost all vacation romances remain just that – vacation romances.”