The Timeless Allure: Why Weddings Enchant Us All

From the moment they come of age, many young women start filling their social media feeds with wedding-inspired ideas, from decorative themes to charming guest favors. They seek advice from magazines, consult experts on why their partners haven’t proposed yet, and indulge in marathon sessions of shows like ‘Say Yes to the Dress.’ With the highly anticipated wedding of Meghan Markle and Prince Harry, tabloids are abuzz with speculations about the details of her dress. It’s not unusual to hear phrases like ‘I’m losing weight to fit into my dream wedding dress’ or ‘I’ll tackle this after the wedding; I don’t have time for other issues now.’ Even men catch the wedding fever, fretting over their attire and the content of their best man’s toast.

The Historical Perspective

Throughout history, every culture has been captivated by partnerships and relationships, as well as defining and exploring social boundaries. We are all—women, men, and even children—constantly engaged in navigating our relationships with others. This is how we understand our world and define ourselves within it. Marriage, as an official union between two people, helps establish what we consider a social unit.

In the past, men would ‘take’ a woman, or even several women, as wives, along with their dowries. A woman’s life was determined by her relationships with others, particularly her father and husband. Men were also defined by birthright but had more opportunities to choose their paths. Although women have become much more independent and can define themselves beyond relationships, this trend persists in many countries. For both men and women, one of the most important decisions in life is choosing whom to marry.

Unrealistic Expectations

The media bombards us with images of people achieving great things, and marriage is often considered a significant achievement. This creates many unrealistic expectations, much like how glossy magazines set trends for flat stomachs and six-pack abs. This leads to a significant contradiction: the goal of ‘looking like a cover model’ is almost unattainable, and it’s unlikely that many people in your circle actually look like that. However, given the prevalence of such images, it seems like it’s not that hard to achieve. We no longer consider it normal to have a slightly rounded stomach—the media’s influence is that strong.

The same applies to weddings. Although sociologists argue that being single is perfectly normal, and more people are choosing this lifestyle, movies and shows still depict everyone getting married or planning a wedding. You can count on one hand the number of cartoons where the princess doesn’t get married at the end! Just like with the stomach situation, it’s no longer enough to have good and stable relationships; you need to have the perfect wedding.

Weddings as a Reflection of Love

Some people see marriage as a public proof of love in a couple. ‘We’ve completed the quest, we’ve found each other, and now no one can come between us!’ Unfortunately, a marriage certificate doesn’t guarantee that the love of your life will stay with you forever. Moreover, marriage can turn good relationships into unhappy ones. For example, if you can’t agree on financial management or have different views on having and raising children.

Fear of Loneliness and Financial Insecurity

When I graduated from school, my class teacher wished for me to marry a rich man. This statement perfectly echoes the idea that a woman will always depend on men. Although the gender pay gap hasn’t been eliminated, women are taking charge of their careers, getting promotions, and breaking the glass ceiling. Now, there’s no need to worry about marriage to secure your future—it’s much scarier to have an unstable currency in your wallet than to be single.

Indeed, by certain criteria, partner relationships where all hardships, including financial ones, are shared seem like a more reliable solution than living alone. You can trust someone, share your successes and disappointments—isn’t that wonderful? However, such relationships can exist without a lavish ceremony and a marriage certificate.

Married Women Are More Promising

In Russia, there’s a long-standing belief that if a woman doesn’t want to get married, there’s something wrong with her. Maybe she’s crazy? Or frigid? Or infertile and doesn’t want to shame her husband? The idea that women simply don’t need to get married, even though there are no obstacles, just doesn’t fit into some people’s minds. Conservative individuals might even start shaming a woman, pressuring her sense of responsibility and duty. The situation can reach absurd levels, with people claiming that the nation is dying out because of women like her.

The roots of this situation go back to the Soviet era when the authorities were seriously concerned with building the institution of family and marriage. Since the 1930s, free love was branded as anti-Soviet, and citizens weren’t hired for jobs if their marital status was ‘single.’

Lack of Ambitions

Additionally, there are cases where a wedding becomes the main dream of a lifetime due to a lack of other serious aspirations. The famous stand-up comedian Ali Wong even dedicated a whole segment of her show to this: ‘I just want to get married, sit on his neck, and never go to the office again.’ We hope that modern women don’t think this way, and if such a thought does cross their minds, it’s only due to a lack of a new hobby.