Stop Apologizing for Who You Aren’t: Navigating the Midlife Crisis
Stop Apologizing for Who You Aren’t: Navigating the Midlife Crisis
A midlife crisis is not a sentence, but an opportunity. Crisis psychologist Natalia Denisiyeva shares insights on how hormones, social media, and internal conflicts influence this stage, and offers advice on transforming this crisis into an opportunity for growth and a happier life.
About Natalia Denisiyeva
Natalia Denisiyeva is a crisis psychologist, author of her own approach in provocative therapy, and the founder and head of the Minsk Center for Crisis Psychology “Just Live.”
Midlife Crisis: A Time for Regrets or New Beginnings?
According to Natalia, the midlife crisis is indeed a complex and multifaceted period, but the idea that women simply regret their “wasted years” is more of a myth shaped by social stereotypes and expectations.
Firstly, women in midlife crisis often re-evaluate their life experiences and search for new meanings, rather than merely regretting the past. This is a time when many start asking themselves questions like, “Who was I?”, “Who do I want to become?”, “What is truly important to me now?”.
Secondly, society often imposes the idea that a woman’s value is directly linked to her youth, beauty, or motherhood. When these stages change, a sense of loss can emerge. However, women experience a midlife crisis not because of their age per se, but due to the pressures and expectations placed upon them.
Moreover, this period can become a time of significant personal discoveries and growth, where women learn to see new opportunities, reconnect with themselves, and build their lives based on their true desires and values.
The Role of Hormones and Internal Conflicts
Menopause and midlife crisis often coincide, but they are not the same. Menopause is a biological process involving hormonal changes that affect physical health, mood, and overall well-being. However, internal psychological conflicts play an equally, if not more, significant role.
These conflicts are related to the re-evaluation of life values, dissatisfaction with the current stage of life, uncertainty about the future, and the feeling of losing youth and previous roles. Psychological processes determine how a woman will perceive and experience this period.
The Impact of Social Media and Societal Pressure
Social media and glossy magazines dictate that women should remain “forever young.” This pressure strongly influences the experience of a midlife crisis, creating an internal conflict between real physical and emotional changes and the desire to conform to the flawless image portrayed in the media.
To combat this, Natalia advises recognizing that standards of beauty and youth are constructs created by society and media, not objective reality. It’s crucial to learn to accept oneself as is, with all the age-related and personal changes. Developing self-respect and understanding that a woman’s value lies in her inner strength, experience, and wisdom is essential.
A Bold Piece of Advice
Natalia’s daring advice to women drowning in a midlife crisis is: “Stop apologizing for who you aren’t and stop waiting for someone to come and save your life. Take responsibility for your happiness right now—break the rules imposed on you, stop playing by others’ scripts, and take a bold step towards yourself. You deserve to live the way you want, not the way others expect you to.”
This advice is bold because it leaves no room for self-pity or external justifications. It calls for taking control of one’s life and embracing change. A midlife crisis is not a sentence, but an opportunity—a chance to take risks and grow.
For further reading on managing midlife crises, consider visiting American Psychological Association.
