No Stamp in the Passport: Who Benefits from Common-Law Marriage

The term “common-law marriage” is often misunderstood. In reality, a civil marriage is the official union with a passport stamp that legally registers the relationship between spouses. This concept emerged when only the church could sanctify the union between a man and a woman. Once the state acquired this function, the term “civil marriage” or “secular marriage” emerged as a counterpart to “church marriage” or “holy union.”

Perspectives on Common-Law Marriage

It is widely believed that men and women have different attitudes towards common-law marriage. Women in such relationships tend to assert that they are “almost married,” while men often see it as “almost free.” This perspective stems from the historical disparity in social roles between men and women. In a common-law marriage, the partner who earns more, owns more property, and is financially stable is often seen as having the upper hand. Traditionally, men were the primary breadwinners, making non-official relationships seem more advantageous from their perspective. However, as women have achieved greater financial independence, this issue has become less pronounced, reducing the gender-based differences in views on common-law marriage.

In modern times, common-law marriage is a personal choice made by young people who wish to emphasize their independence, test their relationships, and evaluate their significance.

The Trial Period

The most sensible reason for a common-law marriage is for two people to live together to test their compatibility. While romance and feelings are wonderful, they can be challenged by the mundane aspects of daily life and differing life views. Even sexual compatibility may not be immediately apparent without the test of time.

Living together is financially beneficial, which can be advantageous for both the couple and the individuals. If you can maintain romance in your daily “common-law family” life, adjusting to each other becomes much easier.

Common-law marriage is sometimes referred to as “divorce prevention,” as couples who have lived together informally tend to have longer and happier marriages. Testing the relationship beforehand, without the legal ties of marriage, can lead to a more considered and thoughtful decision about getting married.

Statistics

According to the Center for Public Research, nearly 50% of couples in common-law marriages formalize their relationship within the first three years. The majority of these couples get married in the second year of cohabitation (20%), followed closely by the first (18%) and third (17%) years. Beyond three years, the numbers decline sharply, suggesting that three years is sufficient time to get to know a partner well. If the relationship remains informal beyond this period, it is likely to stay that way.

The statistics on breakups are also interesting. In the first year, one in five couples (20%) break up, in the second year, one in ten (10%), and in the third year, one in twenty (5%). Thus, common-law marriage helps prevent a significant number of divorces that might have occurred in the early years of a formal marriage if the couples had not chosen to live together first.

Legal Matters

Two critical issues in common-law marriages are property and children.

Property division can be complex if a common-law couple has lived together for a long time. They must divide their assets themselves, recalling who purchased or received each item. There is no joint property in common-law marriages, even if both partners contributed to a purchase. The item will belong to the person whose name is on the documents.

The social protection of children is a different matter. If the father acknowledges the child, he has the same rights as a child born in an official marriage, including alimony, inheritance, and custody. Therefore, if you have agreed with the father and included him in all the necessary documents, there should be no problems.

The issue of moral protection of children, which was a concern for unmarried couples in the Soviet Union, is no longer relevant. Common-law marriage is not considered immoral. Studies show that children in common-law families grow up to be healthy and well-balanced if they are raised with the same care as in official marriages. Disapproval from relatives and society can be avoided through open communication and explaining your position.

For further reading, you can visit this authoritative source on relationships.