Navigating Family Crises: Insights from a Psychologist on Causes and Solutions
Navigating Family Crises: Insights from a Psychologist
Family crises are universal, affecting everyone differently. They can lead to irritability, nervousness, apathy, and even depression. Olga Khvezhenko, a psychologist at the Minsk City Clinical Center for Psychiatry and Psychotherapy, shares her insights on why family crises occur and how to overcome them.
When Do Family Crises Occur?
The initial euphoria of the “honeymoon” phase fades, and young couples begin to see their marriage differently. This marks the first of several crisis periods in a marriage. These periods typically occur at various stages:
- The early days after the wedding
- Around two to three months into married life
- After six months of living together
- Following the first anniversary
- After the birth of the first child
- Between three to five years of marriage
- After seven to eight years of marriage
- At the 12-year mark
- After 20 to 25 years of family life
Psychologists view these crisis periods as a kind of “family illness” that doesn’t always end in divorce. It’s important to remember that these periods are somewhat predictable and not eternal. With the right preparation and mindset, they can be overcome.
Building a Strong Family
Partner Support
Couples may have everything, but without the assurance that their partner is always ready to support and help overcome difficulties, the marriage is at risk. The scale of these difficulties doesn’t matter; what’s crucial is the partner’s support. Without it, there’s a lack of satisfaction in the marriage, family relationships, and the spouse themselves. This lack of satisfaction disrupts the harmony between loving partners.
Sense of Self-Worth and Significance
Conflicts can arise from unmet needs for self-worth and significance, or from a partner’s disrespectful and dismissive attitude. Any person feels deeply hurt when their dignity is undermined, when they are deprived of respect, and when they are not treated with due reverence.
Psychological alienation between spouses begins with criticism and lowered self-esteem. This disrupts emotional harmony, mental stability, and the sense of being valued by the other person. If one spouse feels diminished, it generates negative feelings towards the other and leads to unmet needs for affection, tenderness, and care.
These circumstances prevent a person from affirming themselves within the family, leading to psychological discomfort and a loss of support, solidarity, and security.
Fulfilling Personal Needs
Marriage is also about mutual fulfillment of diverse personal needs. If these needs are not met at all or only partially, arguments and chronic conflicts arise, undermining the stability of the marriage.
Sexual Satisfaction
Disagreements and psychological tensions often stem from unmet sexual needs of one or both partners. These issues can have various roots:
- Low sexual desire
- Mismatched sexual cycles and rhythms
- Lack of knowledge about marital psychohygiene
- Male impotence or female frigidity
- Various illnesses
- Chronic fatigue or nervous exhaustion of one partner
Ultimately, the motives for divorce often stem from unmet needs of one or both partners. Additionally, human relationships involve mutual influence, clashing characters, interests, and attempts to impose one’s views and judgments on the other.
Psychological Stability
The outcome of conflict situations often depends on the psychological state of the spouses. Stress at work, health problems, worries about children or parents affect not only a person’s internal state but also their attitude towards their partner. In relationships with close family members, we are often subjective and view them through the prism of our mood and state.
An objective perspective and professional help can be beneficial. If you can’t cope with difficulties on your own, consider seeking help from a specialist. Each district clinic has a psychotherapy office with a multidisciplinary team ready to provide the necessary assistance. You can also turn to the Minsk City Center for Psychotherapy for expert consultation from a sexologist or undergo a course of family or individual psychotherapy.
For more information, visit the Minsk City Clinical Center for Psychiatry and Psychotherapy.
