Natalie Medlock: Crafting Art from the Depths of Despair

As I sit down to write, tears stream down my face. It’s not the writing that brings me to tears, but my ever-present companion, depression. If crying were an Olympic sport, I’d be a gold medalist. But these tears are not wasted; they are a testament to my journey of processing pain and transforming it into my creative work. My mission is to turn poison into medicine, not because I am poison, but because the darkness within me can be transmuted into something healing and beautiful.

Finding Purpose Through Art

I am grateful for the ability to transform my pain into something meaningful through my work. As my fingers dance across the keyboard, I reach out to you with honesty and sincerity, hoping to forge a connection. This is my artistic raison d’être, the only sense I can make of my existence. I want us all to feel less alone through communication. So, hello. I hope you’re okay. And if you’re not, that’s okay too.

Creative Projects and New Beginnings

While I may not want children, I do give birth to creative projects. Most of these creations live on a hard drive, never seeing the light of day. However, after years of labor, The Pact and There Is No I in Threesome have made it out into the world. There Is No I in Threesome premiered at the New Zealand International Film Festival in November.

The Pact: A Story of Euthanasia, Family, and Hope

The Pact is a six-part series that explores the complex topics of euthanasia, family, hope, and connection. It’s a laugh-out-loud tearjerker that doesn’t preach or take a stance but instead draws out empathy and conversation. The topic of euthanasia took root in my life and work because I have entertained suicidal thoughts and wanted to explore my options.

Too cowardly to jump off a bridge, I joined an online euthanasia group where members openly discussed the grey legal areas surrounding the topic. Through this group, I met a humorous former doctor who dressed in Hawaiian shirts and made YouTube videos. He made me laugh harder than I had in a while, and I’m excellent at laughing—granted, mostly at dark humor. Connecting with the people in the group and knowing there were peaceful options to depart this mortal coil gave me such relief. It released a pressure valve, destigmatized the end of life, and made me feel less trapped and alone.

There Is No I in Threesome: Exploring Polyamory and Love

The film There Is No I in Threesome is about polyamory, love, and vulnerability. It doesn’t judge or make conclusions about open relationships but rather explores them with an open mind. Ollie Lucks, the co-creator and director, put his heart on the line with this work, and his vulnerability shines through. We became incredibly close while nurturing this project, and the only way it could have become the film it is was through our mutual, honest vulnerability and shared sense of humor.

The Impact of Technology on Human Connection

Speaking of human connection, the film was shot on iPhones, which often serve as barriers to genuine interaction. During the shoot, the iPhone became a barrier between myself and Ollie as he disappeared behind the camera. If there’s a lesson in the film, it would be that. Phones, scrolling, and disappearing down clickbait wormholes take us away from real connection. That said, if my friends didn’t send me daily videos of cute, hilarious animals or epic fails, my day would be less joyous.

Choosing Connection Over Isolation

To summarize this letter, which is the closest format for this rambling: Would you choose your partner or your iPhone? I’ll leave you with that. As for me, it depends on whether he’s being a jerk or not that day.

For more information on Natalie Medlock’s work, you can visit TVNZ On Demand.