How to Support a Loved One with Depression: Insights from a Psychotherapist
Understanding Depression
Depression is one of the most common mental health disorders, affecting approximately 5% of the global population. It typically begins between the ages of 30 and 40, with women being twice as likely to be affected as men. Depression is a serious condition that can be life-threatening, with 60-70% of sufferers contemplating suicide and 10-15% attempting it. It is crucial to seek professional help as depression does not resolve on its own.
Recognizing the Signs of Depression
Depression manifests primarily as a persistent low mood. Individuals often describe feelings of despair, sadness, joylessness, apathy, and oppression. These feelings can arise from external circumstances such as conflicts, illnesses, or financial losses, but they can also occur without any apparent reason.
A key characteristic of depression is that the low mood persists even after the stressful events have passed or been resolved. This irrational feeling is independent of a person’s social or financial status. Historically, notable figures such as Jack London, Savva Morozov, Alexander Pushkin, Leo Tolstoy, and Winston Churchill have suffered from depression.
Another major symptom is the loss of interest in activities that were once enjoyable. Individuals may feel completely drained, finding no pleasure in work, money, food, sex, travel, or even the company of loved ones.
The third primary symptom is increased fatigue and motor retardation. Daily tasks such as shopping, cooking, or cleaning become challenging. Patients often report doing everything with great difficulty.
Professional performance declines, self-esteem diminishes, and individuals may feel as though they have suddenly become less intelligent. They struggle with decision-making, concentration, and feelings of worthlessness.
People with depression often have a characteristic appearance: pale face, dull gaze, slumped shoulders, and neglect of personal grooming. Women may stop using makeup and jewelry, and their clothing may be predominantly dark. Their voice is often quiet and monotonous.
Thoughts are predominantly negative: “Everything is bad,” “Nothing can be improved,” “There is no way out,” “I feel stuck.”
Sexual desire diminishes, appetite decreases or disappears, leading to weight loss. Sleep is disturbed, with individuals waking up in the early hours of the morning and unable to fall back asleep. There may be unpleasant sensations in the internal organs, such as headaches, chest pressure, body aches, and a general feeling of being beaten.
Patients with depression often feel worse in the morning, with some improvement in the afternoon.
What to Do If Your Loved One Is Depressed and Talking About Suicide
The most important thing is to take it seriously. Suicidal thoughts typically develop over time, so there is an opportunity to intervene.
Encourage open conversation. Do not feel embarrassed or awkward. Allow the person to express their feelings. Discuss their problems and potential solutions, offering your support.
Do not leave them alone. Spend time with them and ask other family members to do the same. Avoid long trips or business travels during this period.
Remove potentially dangerous items from the home, such as large quantities of medication, household poisons, technical fluids, and weapons.
What Not to Do
- Avoid discussing the topic of suicide with the person.
- Do not joke or use black humor.
- Do not treat suicide as something trivial or a sign of weak character.
- Avoid using a commanding tone, such as “You must not talk like that!” or “You must not do that!”
- Do not make moral judgments, such as “How can you say such things?” or “Pull yourself together!” or “Have you thought about your family?”
- Do not assume the person is “fooling around” or “trying to manipulate others.”
- Do not try to shock the person, such as asking, “Why didn’t you finish the job?” or “Do you need help with that?”
It is crucial to seek help from a psychotherapist or psychiatrist. A person contemplating suicide needs professional assistance. Depression is an illness that requires treatment, often involving antidepressants. A doctor will prescribe the appropriate medication and dosage.
For more information, you can refer to authoritative sources such as the National Institute of Mental Health.
Preventing Future Depressions
After the symptoms of depression have subsided with treatment, it is important to continue taking antidepressants for an additional 4-6 months to maintain the progress. Avoid taking medications like Corvalol or tranquilizers, as they do not have antidepressant effects.
Incorporate more pleasure into your life. Often, people who set high standards for themselves and are overly self-critical are prone to depression. Always make time and allocate resources for enjoyable activities such as travel, shopping, meeting new people, watching interesting movies, and enjoying good food. Love yourself and maintain high self-esteem.
Avoid isolation. Strive to build good interpersonal relationships, as social interaction can protect against depression.
Maintain good physical health. Eat properly and regularly, maintain a stable weight, take care of your body, and avoid excessive alcohol consumption.
Monitor your mental state. Depression does not develop overnight. If you sense its onset, visit a doctor and consider continuing antidepressant treatment for a while.
