How Long Does It Take to Fall in Love? Science Weighs In

Love at First Sight: Symptoms We All Know

When Cupid’s arrow strikes, the world becomes a more beautiful place. The unique and coveted feeling of falling in love acts like a drug: we’re swept up in a frenzy of energy, riding a wave of euphoria. We view ourselves—and often others—with increased kindness, and love molecules course through our bodies like electricity.

Science shows that all humans fall in love similarly and experience comparable symptoms. This is due to neurobiological mechanisms, primarily linked to the brain’s addiction center. But what exactly is this feeling of falling in love?

Falling in Love: Hormones and the Love Cocktail

Under the influence of external impressions, the brain fills with phenylethylamine (PEA), responsible for initial euphoria, body tremors, accelerated heartbeat, butterflies in the stomach, and reduced social anxiety. It also boosts courage in interpersonal contacts. Dopamine turns off critical thinking and lets us feel a high similar to cocaine.

Then comes norepinephrine, without which our love cocktail wouldn’t be as potent. Norepinephrine adds energy, suppresses appetite, eliminates fatigue, and makes us feel like we can move mountains. Male testosterone and female estradiol enhance sexual desire. Although both sexes have the same hormones, they are present in different proportions and serve slightly different functions.

The culmination is oxytocin and vasopressin, which ‘consolidate’ this fantastic state and make us crave a deeper connection. This mechanism has been thoroughly studied and is undoubtedly the biochemical process of falling in love. The debate begins when discussing how long it actually takes to experience this loving feeling.

How Long Does It Take to Fall in Love? Neuroscience Speaks

Scientists have been trying to unravel this mystery for decades. One of the most astonishing conclusions comes from research conducted by Professor Stephanie Ortigue’s team at Syracuse University in New York. The analysis, published in 2010 in The Journal of Sexual Medicine, revealed that falling in love takes just one-fifth of a second.

Yes, a mere 0.2 seconds is enough to activate 12 areas of the brain, triggering the physiological-emotional cascade known as falling in love. However, while this moment is sufficient to start the process, we must remember that falling in love is a journey.

How Long Does It Take to Fall in Love? Psychology Offers a Different View

Perhaps this is why studies of the brains of people in love yield conclusions entirely opposite to what those in love perceive. A 2011 study by an international team of psychologists, including Joshua M. Ackerman from MIT, Vladas Griskevicius from the University of Minnesota, and Norman Li from Singapore Management University, produced results vastly different from those of neuroscientists.

First, researchers found that women need more time to fall in love than men. Experts asked 111 students (45 women, 66 men) about the time it took them to consider confessing their love. On average, men needed a minimum of 97 days, or over three months. Women required nearly 139 days, or more than 4.5 months, to recognize their feelings and think about expressing them.

Surveys conducted by various dating sites showed similar results. They clearly indicate that it takes several months to realize we are in love, regardless of gender.

For further reading on relationships and the science behind them, you can visit Psychology Today, a reputable source for psychological insights.