Checkmate: How to Handle a Passive-Aggressive Coworker

Dealing with Passive-Aggressive Behavior in the Workplace

Experiencing passive-aggressive behavior at work can be as unpleasant as dealing with sexism, discrimination, or a difficult boss, especially when it comes from a coworker you interact with daily. Regardless of your positions, such interactions can be stressful and detrimental to your work process and emotions. Let’s explore what it means to be passive-aggressive and how to protect yourself and your company’s environment from such behavior.

Step 1: Recognize Passive-Aggressive Behavior

Before taking any measures, it’s essential to understand what passive-aggressive behavior entails. With careful attention, you can identify this communication style through the following behaviors:

Procrastination

Procrastination is a typical sign of a passive-aggressive colleague. They may avoid fulfilling promises, commitments, and responsibilities. However, before jumping to conclusions, consider whether procrastination is merely a personal trait or part of their work style. If it is, there may not be an issue.

Sarcasm and Snide Remarks

Again, these traits could be part of someone’s character. Passive-aggressive behavior, however, is characterized by indirect resistance, ignoring the needs of others, and direct confrontation. A consistently self-willed attitude towards you and other colleagues may indicate passive-aggressive tendencies.

Constant Excuses

Many people use excuses due to fear of failure, reluctance to face the truth, or incompetence. However, if excuses are all you remember about a colleague, their behavior might be passive-aggressive.

Step 2: Stop the Behavior

Even if the characteristics mentioned above are merely personality traits, they can still cause significant stress in the workplace. Here are some methods to address such behavior:

Stay Calm: If you receive a passive-aggressive email, avoid responding with aggression. Take a deep breath, delete the message, or use other techniques to clear your mind. Consider whether your colleague’s claims are justified or if they are trying to provoke you. Respond calmly and thoughtfully.
Focus on Positivity: When a colleague exhibits negativity, remain calm and positive. Concentrate on achieving positive outcomes.
Redirect Negative Emotions: If you find yourself drawn into a negative conversation or situation, try to redirect and then eliminate those negative emotions.
Listen Actively: When a colleague complains about your work or the company, listen to them. Passive-aggressiveness can sometimes be a reaction to perceived indifference. Give them the opportunity to express themselves and take their words seriously.
Take Action: If you constantly face passive-aggressive behavior and can no longer tolerate it, it’s time to take active steps. Protect yourself by focusing on what needs to be fixed rather than assigning blame. Avoid shouting or arguing at work; instead, point out how such behavior affects the team and work processes.

Step 3: Don’t Take It Personally

Passive-aggressive behavior is often a reaction from someone who isn’t getting what they want. If you are consciously or unconsciously preventing your colleague from achieving their goals, their behavior may be a natural response. However, it’s important not to take their anger personally. Their grievances are not your fault, and your response should reflect that understanding. Passive-aggressive behavior is a deep-seated issue, so provide the person with an opportunity to express themselves while focusing on positive outcomes. This approach can help disarm the attacker.

Step 4: Seek Help from Superiors

Working in a challenging environment is common, but you are not solely responsible for maintaining a positive atmosphere. If you are not in a managerial position, remember that it’s the responsibility of higher-ups to ensure a productive, comfortable, and safe work environment. If your attempts to address the passive-aggressive behavior fail, seek help from your superiors. You don’t have to handle the situation alone.

For further reading on handling difficult workplace situations, you can refer to authoritative sources such as HelpGuide.