What’s Holding You Back from Building Relationships?
Are you ready to toss red underwear over a chandelier, wear a rose quartz necklace, recite incantations during a new moon, or fill a notebook with his traits just to find love? According to psychologist, business trainer, and coach Marina Polyanskaya, you don’t need sacrifices or magical rituals to find love. So, what does it take to meet your soulmate? Read on to find out.
Interview with Psychologist, Business Trainer, and Coach Marina Polyanskaya
Does Loneliness Have an Expiration Date?
People often feel pressured to find a partner even when they’re content being single. Society tends to equate happiness with being in a relationship, which can be confusing. It’s essential to understand whether you’re genuinely happy being single or if you’re yearning for a partner. Loneliness isn’t about being alone; it’s about not being interested in yourself, lacking self-love, and feeling depressed when alone.
What Hinders Building Relationships?
Childhood beliefs that love must be earned can hinder relationships. School experiences and parental attitudes can make us feel unworthy of love. Additionally, neurotic ties to parents can shape our expectations of love. We might consciously desire unconditional love but subconsciously seek familiar, possibly toxic, dynamics from our childhood.
How to Move On from Past Relationships
To move on, reflect on past relationships objectively. Recognize that some relationships were based on codependency rather than love. Acknowledge the issues and exclude those patterns from your future behavior to foster healthier relationships.
Where to Find Love
The fairy tale of Cinderella suggests that being true to yourself and loving yourself is key to finding love. Love can happen anywhere—online, in a store, or at a movie theater. The crucial factor is being ready for a relationship and being natural. People are drawn to authenticity, not to someone trying too hard to please.
Being natural in relationships is vital. Love can happen at any moment when you’re confident and charismatic, not out of desperation. Desperation can be off-putting; people are attracted to energy, harmony, and contentment.
Achieving Inner Harmony
Many of our strategies for love stem from childhood, where we learned that love must be earned. However, love should not be conditional. To achieve harmony, accept yourself as you are and stop trying to change yourself to please others. Good relationships are not influenced by age, weight, or appearance. Allow yourself to be loved by being true to yourself.
Common Mistakes in Early Dating
Women often make the mistake of idealizing a man and their feelings towards him right from the start. The desire to please can overshadow the need to please oneself first. Another mistake is losing oneself in the relationship, which can make you less interesting to your partner. It’s important to be yourself and communicate your feelings and preferences clearly without criticizing the other person.
