EQ: The Secret Letters to Life’s Success
EQ: The Secret Letters to Life’s Success
A few years ago, emotional intelligence (EQ) was merely a psychological concept. However, it recently gained prominence when the World Economic Forum in Davos listed it as one of the top 10 professional skills for 2020. EQ has evolved from a simple psychological phenomenon to a hallmark of successful individuals.
Beyond IQ: The Rise of EQ
For many years, a person’s success was measured by their IQ. The higher the IQ, the more capable and successful an individual was deemed to be. However, this success was primarily gauged by material wealth: property, cars, salary. Social development and adaptation were often overlooked.
Today, the focus has shifted. Understanding the world and people around us has become significantly more important. This is where emotional intelligence comes into play.
What is Emotional Intelligence?
Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand both our own emotions and those of others. It also involves managing and controlling these emotions. EQ is like a complete cell with its own structure, components, and functions. The structure of EQ is periodically reviewed and updated with new components. Here’s a simplified breakdown:
Self-Awareness
This is the ability to identify and distinguish our emotions from other processes, such as sensations. An important aspect is naming these emotions. A person who can differentiate emotions can accurately describe what they are feeling and why, leading to deeper self-exploration.
Self-Control
This involves regulating our emotions—being able to “get a grip” on ourselves and restrain emotions in certain situations. For example, in conflicts, emotions like anger, disgust, and jealousy can be destructive. A well-developed EQ helps in self-control and self-soothing. Similarly, in stressful situations, a person with high EQ can manage themselves and the situation more effectively.
Empathy
This is the ability to share and understand the feelings of others. A person with a developed EQ can comprehend why a loved one might be feeling sadness, grief, or love during different periods of life. This emotional understanding fosters deeper and more trusting relationships.
Social Skills
This involves understanding, identifying, and recognizing the emotions of others. A person with high EQ can easily discern emotions through expressions, words, or body language. This skill facilitates quicker rapport during first meetings and better communication with people of different psychological types.
Benefits of Emotional Intelligence in Life
Self-Understanding
Well-developed EQ is key to self-understanding. Emotions signal our state of being, making it easier to understand our needs and attitudes towards people and the world. People with high EQ have better self-presentation skills and can manage their emotional states more effectively, reducing the need for external help. They can control themselves better in stressful situations and conflicts.
Broader Social Circle
As mentioned, people with high EQ are more empathetic and understand the emotions of others. They quickly pick up on the moods of those around them and are more open and tolerant. This creates an atmosphere of trust and deep connection, making it easier for others to confide in them.
Employment Advantage
The emphasis on work experience is gradually fading. Employers now seek well-developed personal qualities alongside professional skills. Social intelligence is one such quality. A person with developed EQ adapts more quickly to a team, is more effective in negotiations and sales, and is more attentive in conversations. By reading the emotions of those around them, an employee with high EQ knows when to discuss a raise, introduce new products, or simply listen and empathize. They can navigate the nuances of moods, avoiding waves of anger and creating an impression of an understanding and perceptive conversationalist.
Business Success
Managing one’s emotions and being sensitive to the emotions of others are crucial for managers. Developing EQ can lead to better self-control and deeper self-analysis, enhancing self-efficacy. EQ also helps in better understanding and controlling subordinates and partners. By noticing their moods, a manager can choose the best times for meetings and discussions, whether personal or business-related, and understand the needs of those around them. Most importantly, it allows for managing the states of others, such as calming them in stressful or conflict situations and providing support in times of grief and sadness.
Assessing Your EQ Level
The skill of understanding emotions needs constant development. It’s a misconception that feeling sad or happy means everything is bad or good. These emotions can sometimes mask deeper issues.
To assess your EQ level, consider the following recommendations:
- What emotions do you most frequently experience? List them and note the situations in which they arise.
- Can you name the emotions you felt over the past week? Describe how they manifested and what caused them. How did you handle these emotions: did you suppress them, redirect them, or something else?
- Do you notice what you feel in situations of personal effectiveness and ineffectiveness?
- Can you describe how your facial expressions, gestures, body posture, voice, and physical well-being change when you experience different emotions?
- How do you work with your emotions? Do you often verbalize what you are feeling, either to yourself or aloud?
- Do you notice the moods of those around you? How do they change and why? How is this expressed, and by what signs do you understand it?
- Can you manage the emotions of others? Can you influence them in any way?
These questions will help you assess your EQ level.
Additionally, you can practice recognizing and explaining emotions. Try observing the emotions of movie characters or theater actors and note how your emotional state changes in response. You can also apply this practice to people around you. Simply observe.
Also, observe children. They are spontaneous in expressing their feelings and find it difficult to fake emotions.
Developing emotional intelligence will make you more attentive to yourself and sensitive to the states of others.
For further reading, visit Psychology Today.
