5 Powerful Ways to Overcome Persistent Guilt
5 Powerful Ways to Overcome Persistent Guilt
You sent a message and later worried it might be misinterpreted. You forgot to add a smiley in a text to a new acquaintance. These are minor oversights that could easily be overlooked. Yet, as night falls, you find yourself unable to sleep, haunted by intrusive thoughts: How could I have made such a mistake? Psychologists have long studied this issue and have identified several strategies to help you overcome persistent feelings of shame and guilt.
The Rumination Trap
Rumination is a term coined by Dr. Susan Nolen-Hoeksema, a professor of psychology at Yale University who conducted extensive research on managing guilt. In simple terms, rumination means you can’t stop thinking about certain aspects of a situation that upset you.
A common example of rumination is when you return from a gathering with friends but can’t stop thinking about something awkward you said, instead of focusing on the fun you had. Or, if you’re trying to start a small business and things aren’t going well, you might spend years blaming yourself for rash decisions instead of learning from the experience.
Rumination isn’t just about seeing the negative in everything; it’s also about constantly reliving unpleasant emotions. If you’re going through a tough phase in life, this cycle only prolongs the problem. Emotions should ebb and flow, but constant rumination and self-reflection only bring about shame, sadness, and anger. From your brain’s perspective, there’s no emotional difference between experiencing a bad event and ruminating about it. When these negative thoughts become chronic, they lead to stress.
Dr. Erin Olivo, a medical psychologist at Columbia University, notes that a little reflection on the past is normal. An MRI study conducted by the Massachusetts Medical Faculty found that even when participants were asked to relax and think of nothing, their brains were still active, wandering through memories and searching for problems.
Reflecting on past events has always been crucial for human existence. Our ancestors might have had a
