15 Phrases You Should Never Say About Yourself

There are countless things we don’t want to hear, yet often say ourselves: humble bragging, fishing for compliments, unnecessary apologies, complaints, and gossip. The list goes on. What we say affects not only our personality but also our relationships with others. Psychologist and consultant Jonathan Bennett says, “If you present yourself in a way that starts to annoy those around you, you won’t be taken seriously.” Here are 15 phrases that put you in a bad light, so you can stop saying them once and for all.

1. “I suck”

Try not to put yourself down or point out your flaws. No one likes such comments because they put people in an awkward position: do they need to prove the opposite now? In other words, excessive self-criticism looks like an attempt to fish for compliments. Plus, negative words affect the subconscious. If you constantly berate yourself, you’ll start believing it’s true. So, it’s much better to love yourself and emphasize what you like about yourself. This is how healthy self-esteem is formed.

2. “I look awful in this”

Who hasn’t cast a line to pull out desired compliments? If you do this constantly, eventually those around you will get tired of praising you. It’s one thing to want reassurance that everything is okay or to get support. It’s quite another to expect confirmation of what you already know. Save time, say your strong qualities to yourself instead of asking others to say the same thing over and over.

3. “I have no idea why I got promoted”

There’s nothing worse than humble bragging. It’s better to talk about your achievements, otherwise, it will lead others to think the wrong things.

4. “Sorry, the lunch was so-so”

Many of us apologize unnecessarily, and in many cases, it puts others in an awkward position. “Sorry for the mess” or “sorry I can’t buy an expensive gift.” Stop judging yourself for what a friend would never judge you for.

5. “I ruin everything”

Don’t venture into the territory of self-deprecation. This kind of humor is appropriate when you’re a child: it’s easier to laugh at yourself than to let others do it. As you get older, you need to show people how to treat you, and be kinder to yourself.

6. “This old thing? I got it at a thrift store”

Everyone likes to hear compliments. But when someone praises your sweater, don’t say you got it at a thrift store. It puts the person in an awkward position, as they sincerely wanted to compliment you.

7. “I’ll probably fail”

You talk about your big plans, and then interrupt the story with “it won’t work anyway”? Stop. Why clip your own wings before flying? Look at the situation more positively and think of a plan B, then people will respect you more.

8. “This costs XXX dollars”

Some people don’t want to know anything about prices, especially if it’s veiled bragging. When talking about a new purchase or trip, don’t dwell on how much you spent. After all, emotions matter, not the cost.

9. “I absolutely always…”

By saying this, you present yourself as someone who never fails, but no one is immune to mistakes. The more you break your promises, the less you deserve trust. Use “I strive to,” “I try to,” instead of “I always….”

10. “I’m so lucky to have a relationship”

When you’ve just started a romance, constantly talking about your happiness to others is normal, and close friends won’t judge you. But remember: you don’t know what others are feeling at the moment. Maybe your close person is going through a rough patch in their relationship, so the last thing they want to hear is how perfect your love is.

11. “You won’t believe what happened to me”

Don’t share stories as if they are unique and amazing events, especially if they are off-topic during someone else’s story. When people talk about their achievements, there’s no worse interlocutor than one who interrupts to add their two cents.

12. “I have so much more to do”

Declining a meeting because you have a tight schedule is normal. But if you constantly find reasons not to participate in something, one day you might be excluded from the guest list. Yes, you have a lot to do, but believe me, your friends do too! Busyness is a lifestyle. No one wants to hear complaints and excuses.

13. “I don’t like my nose / bags under my eyes / ears”

If you don’t like something about yourself, constantly pointing it out puts people in an awkward position. Focus on what you love about your appearance, emphasize the positives.

14. “Pff, it’s nothing”

If someone thanks you, accept the gratitude instead of brushing it off. People don’t like it when their compliments are dismissed as something insignificant.

15. “I hate myself”

In arguments and conflicts, each of us has at least once blamed ourselves. But this behavior is fundamentally wrong! Self-hatred is destructive to both character and relationships in general. Instead of apologizing to the person, you continue to talk only about yourself. It’s as if you’re trying to shame the person: “Look, because of our argument, I hate myself!” You’re asking the other person to take responsibility for resolving the conflict, and in adults, this is called selfishness.