Rising Above: A Mother’s Journey Through Grief and Solo Parenting

A Mother’s Courage: Navigating Loss and Parenting Alone

Janelle Brunton-Rennie has embraced one of life’s most daunting challenges: raising her daughter, Sage, alone after the loss of her husband. This is her story of grief, healing, and the strength of a mother’s love.

The Beginning of a Nightmare

When Sage is old enough to draw her family, her mother, Janelle, will undoubtedly be at the center. Her father, however, may or may not be included. Janelle, the owner of an ethical PR firm, Media Jam, discovered her husband’s illness when Sage was just five months old.

“I was holding Sage in my arms, standing in Auckland Hospital’s hematology ward,” Janelle recalls. Just four weeks earlier, her 41-year-old husband, Kurt Brunton, had found a lump in his abdomen and rapidly deteriorated.

“Kurt’s doctor looked at me with a stony face and said, ‘Does your husband have a will? Because there’s a good chance he’s not going to make it,'” Janelle, now 38, remembers. “It was surreal. I remember holding Sage while the stark white corridor closed in on me. It was the first moment I faced the true possibility of Kurt’s death.”

A Love Story Cut Short

Janelle and Kurt had been together since 2012, meeting when Kurt attended a spin class Janelle was teaching. “At the time, I was preparing for my second bodybuilding competition, and Kurt mentioned he’d like to try bodybuilding and asked if he could join my training. Very quickly, we realized we had feelings for each other,” Janelle shares.

They married in early 2015, and just after their third wedding anniversary, Kurt found the lump that would change their lives forever. It was stage four lymphoma. Despite treatment in New Zealand and Boston, Kurt passed away less than a year later.

The Journey of Healing

Sage was only 16 months old when her father died. Janelle describes the loss as a wound that will take time to heal. “Raising our daughter on my own, while grieving the loss of my husband and trying to run a company, has been far harder than I could ever have imagined,” she says, her voice thick with emotion.

“Someone once told me, ‘Keep living until you start to feel alive again,’ and that’s what I did. I went into survival mode, keeping myself, Sage, and my business alive so I could provide for us,” Janelle explains. Despite having a nanny and family support, she admits that solo parenting can be incredibly challenging.

Being Both Mum and Dad

“So much of my grief isn’t just for my loss; it’s also for Sage. Subconsciously, I’ve been playing both mum and dad in an effort to minimize her pain, hopefully saving her from any trauma or abandonment issues in her formative years. Because I’m her only parent, I try to love Sage twice as hard and give her twice as much of me,” Janelle shares.

The silver lining is that Sage, now three, is exposed to a strong, capable role model. “She sees me doing everything from running a company to mowing the lawns and getting out the toolbox when something needs fixing. When I’m carrying something heavy, she’ll say, ‘We can do hard things, Mummy,’ which makes me smile because we do make a great team,” Janelle says.

Looking Towards the Future

Janelle hopes to get married again someday and isn’t ruling out having another child. “We’ll see. It depends on meeting the right person again and feeling safe enough to do so,” she says.

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