7 Signs Your Relationship Expectations Are Too High

As we grow older, our list of criteria for a future partner seems to grow exponentially. It’s no longer just about attractive eyes; they must be a specific shade of brown, set in a pleasant face with rugged stubble or at least without pitiful mustaches. Middle-management workers, divorced individuals, boring people, or those not generous enough—please step aside and don’t block the path to the man of my dreams.

There’s a rumor that after 35, our standards start to drop rapidly. Perhaps this is a tale spun by women who married unsuccessfully and envy their single friends. One thing is certain: if you continue to approach partner selection like a seasoned HR professional with 20 years of experience, you’ll have every chance to see how attitudes toward men change with age.

Expectations in relationships grow gradually. If you’ve ever thought that there are no decent men left, perhaps the issue lies in your unrealistic demands rather than the degradation of humanity. Here are several signs that you might be expecting too much from relationships.

1. Judging a Partner Based on Past Relationships

Don’t let a man’s past relationship history influence your opinion of him. While it’s important to be cautious about significant issues like infidelity to former partners, dismissing someone based on the number of past romances or a failed marriage might be too harsh. Your personal life might also have a few unpleasant stories, but they don’t necessarily define you.

Even if you pride yourself on your chastity, every relationship is a unique experience, and people behave differently with each new partner.

2. Seeking Problem-Free Relationships

Finding a man, marrying him, and never experiencing pain, arguments, or discomfort again sounds ideal, but life isn’t a fairy tale. If you’re looking for a partner to solve all your problems, you’ll never find one. Conflicts, misunderstandings, and difficulties in relationships can be beneficial when resolved constructively. Don’t expect to find someone with whom everything will be perfect.

3. Looking for Specific Physical Traits

If you think you know exactly how your ideal partner should look, you might be setting yourself up for disappointment. Your expectations won’t be realistic if you’re focused solely on a set of specific physical characteristics.

It’s one thing not to feel attracted to someone—lack of chemistry is hard to compensate for with other qualities. However, automatically excluding someone based solely on their appearance is not a good sign. Next time you consider rejecting someone because they don’t fit your type, try giving them a chance to show who they really are.

4. Pushing Away People You Like

The guy is nice, but you wouldn’t date a supermarket cashier. He’s fun, but at 25, using public transportation is simply unacceptable. You could have had great relationships, but unfortunately, he didn’t meet your standards.

While a pragmatic approach isn’t bad, sincere attraction to a partner matters much more for long-term relationships. If you constantly push away people you actually like, it’s a clear sign that your expectations are too high.

5. Not Forgiving Mistakes

High expectations not only hinder finding a partner but also ruin existing relationships. The ability to forgive is crucial in shared life. No matter how demanding you are, accept that everyone makes mistakes. A categorical attitude won’t help you find the best and will only bring chronic disappointment.

6. Dismissing a Guy After the First Date

If the first date didn’t impress you much, consider giving the guy another chance. During first meetings, everyone feels awkward, nervous, and anxious, often leading to uncomfortable situations. It’s hard to get to know each other and feel anything meaningful in such an environment.

7. Expecting Your Partner to Behave in a Specific Way

One of the main inconveniences in relationships is that people are not you. This can explain most conflicts and problems with society in general and with your partner in particular.

We can’t demand that people share all our beliefs and have the same outlook on life. Your partner, if he is a real person and not a robot, will never behave exactly as you want. Accept that there are no ‘other halves,’ only whole people with their own opinions and interests. You’ll need to consider these if you want to be happy in your relationship.