7 Mistakes You Need to Stop Making Right Now

Psychological mistakes are slippery and multifaceted, making them hard to pin down with clear definitions. To avoid diving deep into theory, let’s get straight to the point: we’re talking about mistakes that can drain you. These errors can steal your time, energy, opportunities, and self-confidence. It’s crucial to eliminate these “parasites,” and the first step is always the same: identify them. So, what should you avoid doing?

Living for the Future

“Carpe diem”—”seize the day”—is what a Latin aphorism tells us. Dreaming about how wonderful life will be after all our dreams come true or after a certain period can be pleasant. But only if this daydreaming is brief, like all pleasant reveries. Living solely for the future is harmful. Firstly, in your dreams, the future will always be unattainably perfect, so even if all your dreams come true, they won’t be as glossy and perfect as in your imagination. Secondly, not all dreams can come true; that’s why they are dreams, and if we spend time on empty daydreaming, we might miss their fulfillment or not put in enough effort.

Try to enjoy the present moment, even if your life isn’t perfect. Work towards your dreams and strive to achieve them, but remember that you are always in the present moment, which you should also enjoy.

Living in the Past

We tend to dwell on our past mistakes. There is a positive side to this, as proper analysis can help us learn valuable lessons and avoid repeating the same errors. However, constantly replaying our failures or pleasant moments that we can’t bring back or repeat will only lead to depression and a bad mood. The past is meant to be left behind.

Imagine your past as a nutrient-rich soil where you have put down roots and are gathering strength for the present and future. Whether it’s good or infinitely beautiful, you need to try to bloom on this soil despite everything. Boldly step forward and leave all skeletons in the closet, and nostalgia on the shelf until the right moment to revisit it, such as a meeting with an old friend.

Thinking About What You Lack

We’re not talking about thoughts of magic beans or a seven-flower (which, alas, we must admit, do not exist in the literal sense). We’re referring to what you lack in material or moral terms but would very much like to acquire or develop somehow.

The more we think about what we lack, the more we feel our own inadequacy, even though it doesn’t exist. It’s human nature to desire what we don’t have, and this desire is generally commendable. However, it’s not wise to focus excessively on it. Remember Akaky Akakievich and his overcoat? Of course, he needed the overcoat to keep warm in the cold Petersburg, but as soon as he became obsessed with it, everything went wrong.

Visualize your desires and strive for them, but don’t dwell on them. As soon as the desire for possession begins to cause you discomfort, switch your focus to something else.

Searching for the Perfect Self-Improvement Tool

What could be the perfect self-improvement tool? A magic pill! You take it in the evening, wash it down with tea, and wake up the next morning renewed with completely new habits. If only life were that easy and simple. But changing yourself and your habits is hard work that can’t be done in one night or even one week. There is no magic pill for self-improvement, just as there is no magic method that will allow you to change completely without effort.

Prepare yourself for the fact that you will have to invest effort, time, and nerves into working on yourself. It’s tough, but there will be compensation later. As soon as you manage to rise above yourself, you will understand that all the struggles and deprivations were worth it to later rejoice in the new you with pride and admiration.

Dramatizing

Bad news always stands out more than good news. And in general, there is more negativity around us than positivity. You need to learn not to focus on it, otherwise, you might develop a bad habit of dramatizing, especially after a series of failures. Everyone experiences a series of failures, but that doesn’t mean everything will only get worse.

As soon as something bad happens to you, don’t dwell on it and don’t look for someone to pity you. Overcome yourself and smile; the negativity will soon pass. However, don’t confuse the words “pity” and “support.” You can always count on the support of close friends and relatives.

Deceiving Yourself and Others

Don’t try to appear as someone you’re not—neither in your own eyes nor in the eyes of others. If you make a mistake, admit it. If you want to make an impression, be yourself and don’t try to adapt to the expectations of your interlocutor. You undoubtedly have wonderful character traits that you can highlight, so focus on them. Playing a role for yourself or someone else is a big mistake that can lead you into depression and chronic stress.

Our personality is a complex system that is not easy to deceive. Any changes in it are achieved through a long and difficult path, and if we try to appear as someone we are not, it leads to “overload.” Take care of your health and look for the beautiful in the real you.

Always Being Busy

Time management, high efficiency, scheduling by the minute, the desire to do more—these are the scourges of modern society. Personal efficiency is important, but if you focus too much on it and constantly perform at maximum capacity, you will eventually burn out without rest. Even the most serious individuals need to sometimes relax, be lazy, fool around, and let off steam.

If you love scheduling your day down to the last minute and strictly following your schedule, then include rest and free time in this tight schedule. There is a good parable about two woodcutters. One of them chopped wood for 3 hours every day without a break, while the other took a 15-minute break every hour, then returned and continued working. The second woodcutter managed to chop more wood than the first. When asked what he did during those 15 minutes, it turned out that he was sharpening his axe to chop more productively. Rest for our body is like that very axe sharpening.