5 Positive Personality Traits You Can Develop Within Yourself

I’ve often caught myself envying how some people manage to be so sociable, witty, or self-confident. There are personality traits that are inherently likable and overshadow other flaws with their energy. Where do these attractive traits come from, and what can those of us do who feel like we missed out on the charm vaccine? Many people think that personality traits are something you either have or don’t, notes consulting psychologist Desiree Vercziski. But in reality, it’s about the level of expression and the properties of the traits you were born with, and how they developed throughout your life. In simpler terms, some things come easier to certain people, while others are more challenging, but there’s no positive personality trait that you can’t develop. Here are the skills you should definitely acquire for a successful life.

Communication Skills

I don’t want to sound like my grandmother, but in the age of technology, live conversation is becoming a skill that people are on the verge of losing. Few of us can boast that we’re not afraid to start a conversation with a new person without feeling awkward. Eloquent people attract attention, and in a world where much depends on connections, they have more chances of success. Fortunately, this is not an innate trait, and communication skills can be developed like any other skill.

Psychologists recommend treating a conversation like a game of tennis. When the ball comes to your side, you need to make a return shot, or the game will end. Keep asking questions to maintain the dialogue and try to avoid communication mistakes.

Self-Confidence

Confident and open people always seem more interesting, even if that’s not entirely true. As Desiree Vercziski explains, this is because our brains find it easier to understand and connect with a confident person. Such people express who they are through their behavior, and we don’t have to spend energy figuring them out. Gaining genuine self-confidence is challenging, but this trait is quite developable, and we also have some practical advice for this. The quickest way to boost your confidence is to try to behave decisively, even if you don’t feel that way. According to the expert, people often think that they need to feel confident to look confident. In reality, feelings often follow actions, not the other way around. Try to take bold actions, and gradually, decisiveness and self-belief will come.

Sense of Humor

This is such a complex thing that it seems like a talent rather than a skill, but you can develop a sense of humor, no doubt. The nature of humor is based on social and indirect experience, says psychotherapist Caleb Back. Without these experiences and a complex understanding of human nature, it’s hard to be truly funny. Given that people are not born with this experience, we can simply conclude that a sense of humor can be developed.

The most successful comedians go through a process of trial and error before finding their style. This principle applies to those for whom humor is not a profession. The ability to defuse a situation with an appropriate joke has saved many a catastrophe, so it will definitely come in handy.

Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence, or the ability to empathize and understand the feelings of others, is gaining particular relevance. The fact is that this is one of the few things that only a human can master, meaning that such an employee need not fear competition from robots. Of course, this is not a standalone skill that can replace all other professional knowledge, but for a modern specialist, emotional intelligence is a significant competitive advantage.

Recognizing and correctly interpreting emotions is something that should be taught from early childhood. However, if this didn’t happen for you, it’s not too late to start developing empathy now. This work requires effort and time, but the result is worth it—people with developed emotional intelligence have greater psychological flexibility and cope better with stress. Psychologists have developed various methods and exercises for recognizing emotions that you can do on your own.

Positive Thinking

So many motivational books, courses, and training sessions are dedicated to developing positive thinking that one might want to take a break from the constant necessity to smile and find the good in everything. Some people are naturally pessimistic or optimistic, but you can always change your attitude towards life. There are scientists who argue against the necessity of a positive outlook, claiming that it hinders realistic perception. I believe that everything is good in moderation, and the ability to not dwell on a problem but to look for what you can do to move forward will benefit everyone.

Each of us has our own idea of what makes a personality attractive. The good news is that no matter what life has made you, you can always grow and develop.