10 Life Hacks for Shy Girls to Boost Confidence

When you ask men about their preferred female behavior model, many describe a sweet and modest person who blushes easily and smiles shyly, looking away. This type has its unique charm, but often the appeal of modesty is confused with shyness, which can be detrimental. Shyness not only restricts a person psychologically, hindering communication and self-expression, but also gives others a completely wrong impression of a shy person’s personality. Moreover, if not addressed, shyness can accumulate and intensify.

Overcoming Discomfort in Communication

To avoid discomfort in communication, you don’t need to undergo complex psychological training or rehearse for hours in front of a mirror, preparing for a public speech or a crowded meeting. Although rehearsing in front of a mirror can help if you know about a challenging situation in advance. It’s much more important to be ready to face your shyness at any unpredictable moment. Most new acquaintances happen spontaneously. In such moments, you should gather yourself and remember simple techniques that will help you relax and not panic.

Physical Contact

Don’t be afraid; you don’t need to hug anyone or invade personal space for the magic of physical contact. A simple handshake with the person (or even everyone in a small group) you will be communicating with is sufficient. In modern society, women shake hands less often than men, but etiquette approves of this. This way, you will not only gently draw attention to yourself and dispose your interlocutor favorably but also automatically reduce the level of fear and awkwardness before the person you touched.

Eye Contact

Eye contact is one of the most embarrassing things for shy people. To avoid looking away, you can shift the point on the interlocutor’s face that you are looking at. It is often advised to look at the person’s nasal bridge during a conversation, but this can create the impression that you are staring intently at them like a predatory owl. It’s much better to focus on the interlocutor’s lips. This way, you won’t be embarrassed to look away, and it will seem like you are carefully catching every word the speaker says, even if you are actually distracted and thinking about whether to go for a snack.

Asking Questions

If you are very worried and afraid of saying something stupid or not being able to string two words together, shift the conversation to your interlocutor. As the saying goes, “The best defense is a good offense.” Ask the person a few questions so they can talk about themselves. People love to talk about themselves and their interests, so while they are telling their story, you will have time to catch your breath, gather your thoughts, and calm down. Moreover, we unconsciously feel sympathy for the person who is interested in us.

Body Language

A simple way to feel more confident is to straighten up, square your shoulders, and lift your chin slightly. It may seem that in this posture you will look arrogant, like the English queen, but in reality, it looks very beautiful and makes others perceive you as an open and calm person, completely confident in yourself. In addition, while you concentrate on the correct posture, you will distract yourself from nervousness and awkwardness.

Proper Breathing

Try to breathe deeply, slowly, and fully with your chest. This life hack goes well with the previous one. Instead of getting nervous about the upcoming conversation, you can calm down and focus on this task. If you simply forget about proper breathing after a few seconds, at first, mentally repeat the rhythm of each inhale and exhale: “one-two-three, inhale, one-two-three, ex-ha-le.”

The Twin Effect

If you don’t know what to do with your hands and feet, fidget with your watch, purse, or just a piece of your sleeve, the twin effect is a real salvation. Just copy your interlocutor’s posture and main facial expression. This way, they will not only subconsciously “accept you as their own” but also sympathize with you as a person with similar reactions. Just don’t rush to change your posture as soon as your interlocutor changes theirs. Breathe in and out a few times, then slowly change the position of your hands and feet. By the end of the conversation, you won’t even notice how this will happen automatically—or it won’t be needed at all, as the tension will subside.

Pace and Tone of Voice

Try to speak a little more slowly and lower than you usually do. You can practice this in advance, for example, by recording your voice on a dictaphone. While you concentrate on slowing down and clearly pronouncing each word, you won’t have time for unnecessary worries.

Chew Reflex

If you have a little time before the exciting conversation, eat something small (but not garlic or onion!) or chew gum. Just remember to spit it out before the conversation starts. Eating is associated with a sense of security and protection, so physically you will relax a little.

Tactical Positioning

Carefully choose the place where you will communicate with the person or group. Try not to stand in front of a mirror, which can make you anxious. Don’t stand directly opposite the interlocutor; stand slightly at an angle to them or even sit sideways. Confrontation implies arguments and aggressive dialogue, like in an open confrontation. If you can choose whether to stand on the left or right side of the interlocutor, choose the left side. The right side in right-handed people (who are the majority) is more developed and serves for subconscious defense and repelling attacks.

Smile

It’s so simple—even the slightest smile can help you in a conversation. Of course, you shouldn’t force it, but you shouldn’t hold back either; sometimes you have to “push” the smile a little. The more often you smile, the more sincere and sweet it becomes. There is no person whom a smile does not adorn (unless you have never been to a dentist and never brushed your teeth—but then you should not be reading this article; you should urgently make an appointment with a dentist). In addition, a smile, thanks to mirror neurons, causes a desire to smile in response and releases a tiny but still portion of the happiness hormone. Just what you need to overcome shyness